2 Unhappy Children Faking Confusion

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by susiestar, Jun 6, 2011.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I just gave my kids quite a wake-up call and consequences. Possibly even a scare.

    I am just sick of all the "I asked you, you must not remember but you TOLD ME it was okay."

    Lately there have been more and more times when I supposedly gave permission or items not for daily consumption but I don't remember it. There have also been times when I was repaid money for something that Jess didn't have money for when it was purchased but she paid me for later - but I couldn't find the money in my purse. She IS good about paying for things if she asks us to front the money because hers is at home. But there are also MANY things that I asked/told them to do that they claim I did not say to them. All has been chocked up to "mom forgot"or mom thought she said it but didn't.

    I am either developing early alzheimers or some other horrible memory problem or my kids are using this as an excuse. As it NEVER happens with husband, well, you can guess what i think it happening.

    This am husband came in to get some balance bars for his lunch. The box that was supposed to be there was GONE. Not even empty, gone. It was the last straw. We also had a big box of them from Sams that we just haven't seen since it came home.

    My kids LOVE these bars in any flavor that has chocolate in it and they will eat six or seven a day if given free rein. That is why they are not kept in the pantry. They live on a shelf in our bedroom or in husband's study. We do not buy them for easy eating or snacking. Kids ONLY get them when we are on a trip or out shopping or thank you is running late for the bus but needs something to eat. They are NOT for kids to eat at home. they can go fix a peanut butter sandwich at home.

    It is also highly interesting that Jess came in five min after our talk and wanted to look on a shelf where she "thought she had seen the box" meaning the small box that was missing. She moved a basket of videos that was in front of the box and "found" two of the bars. I told her to stop and wait for me because I was in the bathroom. When I came out she showed me where she "found" them - the basket in front of that shelf hasn't moved in a month. No way they were on that shelf because I looked a couple minutes earlier. She also could not produce the box she "found" the two bars in. From the look of them, they were in her purse (purse lint is a giveaway, lol).

    I let her slide because it isn't that big of an issue to me of where they were. That they were returned and it stops is what matters, not guilt or innocence or proving that she lied. She knows. She knows I know. We move on from there.

    I also intend to go to Staples or the office supply part of Walmart and get a receipt book. The carbonless kind that makes two copies. One for them to take out and post on the message board and one for my records. I am SICK of I forgot or I didn't know you wanted me to.

    Anyone else starting things like this to combat the summer "I forgotszzzzzz' and to help move that unwanted friend of theirs from the house - you know, that guy who does everything wrong and cannot be found or made to correct the problem but is always to blame - I Dunno. He is moving OUT of my house today!

    So that was my summer line in the sand. WHat are you doing to keep them from driving you batty all summer?
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I'm hoping someone has some creative answers, too... !

    Hmmm... its getting to the place around here that we are almost going to have to punish ourselves to teach the kids a lesson (and THEY think the world isn't fair?) - as in, completely stop buying chocolate - not even have it in the house. Trouble is, that would then also go for... dried fruit (raisins, etc.), nuts, chips, pop (really - I HAVE to have my cola), pudding mixes, jello powder, sugar (white or brown... they eat it right out of the container)... in other words, nothing sweet whatsoever. Its 75% one kid and 25% the other - so of course, the second kid really makes a stink when the first kid "takes it all".

    But some stuff, I can't do without. Money missing... that one, you'd better stomp on faster than a running elephant. That's not a food issue (the argument in our house about stealing food is that we don't feed the kids enough, so they are hungry... but I don't find them snitching carrots!). Stealing money is serious - and will escalate. We've slowly dropped back most of the "paper money theft", but I'm sick and tired of not having change for the parking meter!

    So far, the only hope we have for the summer is to either hope husband does NOT get a job (and can ride herd all summer), or that I find some way to keep them really, really busy from sun-up to sun-down so they are too tired to get into trouble.
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Trust me... I know how this works.

    We no longer buy chocolate syrup or powder for milk. Why? It VANISHES. The powder turns up in baggies in Onyxx's room. The syrup gets used within literally DAYS. Last time I bought some, I also bought strawberry - and told Onyxx it was for ME. Two days later the chocolate was gone and the strawberry was in her room, half gone.

    Sugar? Hidden in my bedroom. with - Chocolate chips, cheese, bacon bits, bagels, salt, popcorn... Pop. Regular chips. So many things vanish, I can't even keep track.

    I had to even declare a moratorium on anyone under the age of 30 cooking in my home without prior permission, due to things like potatoes vanishing. 3/4 a box of angel hair pasta - POOF. (And she didn't even close the box - Ugh.) Seriously, I got tired of never having the ingredients I needed, food being wasted, and horrible messes being made with no cleanup.

    Oh, and Onyxx loves to make food for herself - cover it in Frank's hot sauce - and put it in the fridge. Later, she doesn't want it anymore - but no one else can eat it, because no one else likes Frank's.

    My suggestion? As annoying as it is... Lock stuff up.

    And if it's not in my Outlook? I wasn't told. Works with husband too.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My problem with the memory issues is real but there is no way I could have everyone write down everything they say to me...we would simply be communicating in the written word continuously. It is everything anyone tells me and I am accused of either not remembering something or not telling someone something...and I swear...its not ME! I remember things completely differently so either I really am completely crazy or going down the drain or we all are in this house.
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    The battle began here at 5 am Saturday...because Miss KT "didn't wanna" do what she had already agreed to do...which is, basically be my hands until I get the stitches out from carpal tunnel surgery. Hubby has been working 12 hour days, 6 days a week, putting in all the Occupational Therapist (OT) possible so we can go to Chicago in August. It seems fair that, with him putting in that many hours at work, I do everything here at home.

    Miss KT objected strenuously to fixing Hubby some breakfast (Why can't he just eat toast?) and making him a lunch (Isn't there a Taco Bell?), and then tried to tell me I never said she had to do these things. Hello...my right hand is wrapped up like a boxing glove...I can't even open a pill bottle or pull my hair back out of my face.

    The stitches come out next Monday...just seven more days of listening to her whining and grumbling at 5 am. We can do this...
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    The money thing isn't as big a deal as it sounds. Mostly she has forgotten to give it to me until I ask or she goes to buy something else and has mroe than she thought. I just don't liek it when she says I put it somewhere and it isnt't here. If I question her she will figure it out. The BIG part of this problem is the absence epilepsy. She truly is having what she calls "short days" because she cannot remember everything because her brain just stops. Then she is embarrassed and wants to fix the mistake, and honest mistake on her part, with-o letting anyone know there is a problem. All the docs who have told us that nothing is happening and she is making things up have her feeling like a freak when she amkes any mistake. We are working on it with a therapist, but it is hard.

    The food wouldn't be an issue if they said something. I do have things in the fridge in the kitchen and if I say "do not eat this until I give permission" they are good at leaving it alone about 85% of the time. I don't even make a fuss when they say they forgot it was something to ask about and they ate it. My problem is the story that I said okay and forgot.

    I have had a problem since my teens where if you ask me a question while I am asleep I very well may answer - and there are NO filters between my brain and mouth. My first roommate in college spent almost a month angry at me because she and her boyfriend asked what I thought about her while I was asleep. At that time I had NO idea that I was their little game - they would ask me all sorts of stuff while I was asleep at night. I didn't even know he was there at night until she was so mad at me. She was a spoiled princess with serious Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) issues about germs and she was a bully if she thought you were "below" her - made fun of my clothes, my taste in books and music, mostly everything she could. She didn't want to hear it and was even angrier when her boyfriend laughed because he agreed with me. My kids ahve been warned that NO permission I give while asleep is valid. It just does not count because I can be talked into letting them do a lot of things that otherwise I would not.

    This is the main root of this problem. My solution for snacks/treats is to buy a certain amount each week and that is it. Eat it all in a day? No junk food for the week. NMP - I just say those letters and they stop fussing. Not My Problem is what I mean and they KNOW that pushing after that means I might go and buy all kinds of awesome not normal treats and keep them ALL to husband and myself. Only took 2 or three times and they got the message.

    The major great thing about not having a difficult child in the house is that when I do have to crack down I get amazing results. Truly astonishing. I think that most of the time something is forgotten like a chore it is actually real forgetfulness on their part. Some is seeing what they can get away with, everyone does that occasionally. But mostly it isn't because they are afraid to really make me angry. Not afraid they will be thrown out, but afraid because they have NO idea what I will do. Not that I rant and rave, but I do get creative. Just like my mother who painted my bro's feet with tuna juice and locked the cat in a room with him at night. The cat then got mad because he yelled at her. So, in her true, inimitable style, she snuck into his room the next day and peed on him while he slept. That was chalked up to my mother's consequences also - just part of his consequences for sleeping nude watching skinemax on cable at night. She really is an inspiration, lol.