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2 Unhappy Children Faking Confusion
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 434887" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>The money thing isn't as big a deal as it sounds. Mostly she has forgotten to give it to me until I ask or she goes to buy something else and has mroe than she thought. I just don't liek it when she says I put it somewhere and it isnt't here. If I question her she will figure it out. The BIG part of this problem is the absence epilepsy. She truly is having what she calls "short days" because she cannot remember everything because her brain just stops. Then she is embarrassed and wants to fix the mistake, and honest mistake on her part, with-o letting anyone know there is a problem. All the docs who have told us that nothing is happening and she is making things up have her feeling like a freak when she amkes any mistake. We are working on it with a therapist, but it is hard.</p><p></p><p>The food wouldn't be an issue if they said something. I do have things in the fridge in the kitchen and if I say "do not eat this until I give permission" they are good at leaving it alone about 85% of the time. I don't even make a fuss when they say they forgot it was something to ask about and they ate it. My problem is the story that I said okay and forgot.</p><p></p><p>I have had a problem since my teens where if you ask me a question while I am asleep I very well may answer - and there are NO filters between my brain and mouth. My first roommate in college spent almost a month angry at me because she and her boyfriend asked what I thought about her while I was asleep. At that time I had NO idea that I was their little game - they would ask me all sorts of stuff while I was asleep at night. I didn't even know he was there at night until she was so mad at me. She was a spoiled princess with serious Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) issues about germs and she was a bully if she thought you were "below" her - made fun of my clothes, my taste in books and music, mostly everything she could. She didn't want to hear it and was even angrier when her boyfriend laughed because he agreed with me. My kids ahve been warned that NO permission I give while asleep is valid. It just does not count because I can be talked into letting them do a lot of things that otherwise I would not.</p><p></p><p>This is the main root of this problem. My solution for snacks/treats is to buy a certain amount each week and that is it. Eat it all in a day? No junk food for the week. NMP - I just say those letters and they stop fussing. Not My Problem is what I mean and they KNOW that pushing after that means I might go and buy all kinds of awesome not normal treats and keep them ALL to husband and myself. Only took 2 or three times and they got the message. </p><p></p><p>The major great thing about not having a difficult child in the house is that when I do have to crack down I get amazing results. Truly astonishing. I think that most of the time something is forgotten like a chore it is actually real forgetfulness on their part. Some is seeing what they can get away with, everyone does that occasionally. But mostly it isn't because they are afraid to really make me angry. Not afraid they will be thrown out, but afraid because they have NO idea what I will do. Not that I rant and rave, but I do get creative. Just like my mother who painted my bro's feet with tuna juice and locked the cat in a room with him at night. The cat then got mad because he yelled at her. So, in her true, inimitable style, she snuck into his room the next day and peed on him while he slept. That was chalked up to my mother's consequences also - just part of his consequences for sleeping nude watching skinemax on cable at night. She really is an inspiration, lol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 434887, member: 1233"] The money thing isn't as big a deal as it sounds. Mostly she has forgotten to give it to me until I ask or she goes to buy something else and has mroe than she thought. I just don't liek it when she says I put it somewhere and it isnt't here. If I question her she will figure it out. The BIG part of this problem is the absence epilepsy. She truly is having what she calls "short days" because she cannot remember everything because her brain just stops. Then she is embarrassed and wants to fix the mistake, and honest mistake on her part, with-o letting anyone know there is a problem. All the docs who have told us that nothing is happening and she is making things up have her feeling like a freak when she amkes any mistake. We are working on it with a therapist, but it is hard. The food wouldn't be an issue if they said something. I do have things in the fridge in the kitchen and if I say "do not eat this until I give permission" they are good at leaving it alone about 85% of the time. I don't even make a fuss when they say they forgot it was something to ask about and they ate it. My problem is the story that I said okay and forgot. I have had a problem since my teens where if you ask me a question while I am asleep I very well may answer - and there are NO filters between my brain and mouth. My first roommate in college spent almost a month angry at me because she and her boyfriend asked what I thought about her while I was asleep. At that time I had NO idea that I was their little game - they would ask me all sorts of stuff while I was asleep at night. I didn't even know he was there at night until she was so mad at me. She was a spoiled princess with serious Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) issues about germs and she was a bully if she thought you were "below" her - made fun of my clothes, my taste in books and music, mostly everything she could. She didn't want to hear it and was even angrier when her boyfriend laughed because he agreed with me. My kids ahve been warned that NO permission I give while asleep is valid. It just does not count because I can be talked into letting them do a lot of things that otherwise I would not. This is the main root of this problem. My solution for snacks/treats is to buy a certain amount each week and that is it. Eat it all in a day? No junk food for the week. NMP - I just say those letters and they stop fussing. Not My Problem is what I mean and they KNOW that pushing after that means I might go and buy all kinds of awesome not normal treats and keep them ALL to husband and myself. Only took 2 or three times and they got the message. The major great thing about not having a difficult child in the house is that when I do have to crack down I get amazing results. Truly astonishing. I think that most of the time something is forgotten like a chore it is actually real forgetfulness on their part. Some is seeing what they can get away with, everyone does that occasionally. But mostly it isn't because they are afraid to really make me angry. Not afraid they will be thrown out, but afraid because they have NO idea what I will do. Not that I rant and rave, but I do get creative. Just like my mother who painted my bro's feet with tuna juice and locked the cat in a room with him at night. The cat then got mad because he yelled at her. So, in her true, inimitable style, she snuck into his room the next day and peed on him while he slept. That was chalked up to my mother's consequences also - just part of his consequences for sleeping nude watching skinemax on cable at night. She really is an inspiration, lol. [/QUOTE]
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