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20 y/o difficult child wants to move home
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 617557" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Tryagain, my heart goes out to you. I am sorry this is happening. But...in a very strange way, this is a good thing. Can you look at this time as an opportunity for you and husband to clarify boundaries? A time when you stand up for yourselves and each other and your right to sanity and stability in your home?</p><p></p><p>That's what this is, Tryagain.</p><p></p><p>This is a time for you to practice claiming and defending what you love as much as you love you difficult child. A time for you to bless yourself and your husband with the knowledge that you will protect what you've worked so hard to create: peace in your own home.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter should understand this, Tryagain. She should hear you state your rights to live free of her drama loud and clear. </p><p></p><p>It isn't going to feel pleasant. The decisions we make regarding our troubled kids go against everything we wanted to be as parents. It is really uncomfortable to stick to our guns. But when we know so clearly that having them home again would be the wrong thing, then the only fair thing to do is to tell them, right up front as you have done, "No."</p><p></p><p>It might help to journal about this. Maybe you and husband could go to dinner and talk the feelings out. Whatever you do to help yourself when you are stressed would be a good thing to do, now. You did the right thing in telling difficult child she could not live with you, again. That was honest and true. Your reasons for not wanting her in your home are good ones. Now, you need to walk through the feelings. It will be easier, the next time.</p><p></p><p>Don't back down, Tryagain.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 617557, member: 17461"] Tryagain, my heart goes out to you. I am sorry this is happening. But...in a very strange way, this is a good thing. Can you look at this time as an opportunity for you and husband to clarify boundaries? A time when you stand up for yourselves and each other and your right to sanity and stability in your home? That's what this is, Tryagain. This is a time for you to practice claiming and defending what you love as much as you love you difficult child. A time for you to bless yourself and your husband with the knowledge that you will protect what you've worked so hard to create: peace in your own home. Your daughter should understand this, Tryagain. She should hear you state your rights to live free of her drama loud and clear. It isn't going to feel pleasant. The decisions we make regarding our troubled kids go against everything we wanted to be as parents. It is really uncomfortable to stick to our guns. But when we know so clearly that having them home again would be the wrong thing, then the only fair thing to do is to tell them, right up front as you have done, "No." It might help to journal about this. Maybe you and husband could go to dinner and talk the feelings out. Whatever you do to help yourself when you are stressed would be a good thing to do, now. You did the right thing in telling difficult child she could not live with you, again. That was honest and true. Your reasons for not wanting her in your home are good ones. Now, you need to walk through the feelings. It will be easier, the next time. Don't back down, Tryagain. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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20 y/o difficult child wants to move home
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