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Parent Emeritus
20 year old daughter, etc.
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 369180" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Welcome. Would your wife be open to attending a few alanan meetings with you, just to gain a little insight into how her her 'acceptance' and inaction is enabling her daughter?</p><p></p><p>Could you provide some reading materials to your wife that would help her to understand how your daughter's behavior is controlling your lives?</p><p></p><p>Do you have a counselor that could work with you and your wife through this? </p><p></p><p>I believe it will go a lot easier if both you and your wife are on the same page. I hate to suggest threats but perhaps if your wife knew you were ready to move out over this she would be more willing to create a plan for dealing with your daughter. Personally, in think you have the right idea-get daughter out and giving her a deadline is the usual next step. You are right to want to have a peaceful home and live within guidelines you're comfortable with. The daily strife of dealing with someone who uses drugs and hangs around with dirtbags is no way to live.</p><p></p><p>Best of luck-I'm sure others will be along with some real life experience and advice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 369180, member: 2211"] Welcome. Would your wife be open to attending a few alanan meetings with you, just to gain a little insight into how her her 'acceptance' and inaction is enabling her daughter? Could you provide some reading materials to your wife that would help her to understand how your daughter's behavior is controlling your lives? Do you have a counselor that could work with you and your wife through this? I believe it will go a lot easier if both you and your wife are on the same page. I hate to suggest threats but perhaps if your wife knew you were ready to move out over this she would be more willing to create a plan for dealing with your daughter. Personally, in think you have the right idea-get daughter out and giving her a deadline is the usual next step. You are right to want to have a peaceful home and live within guidelines you're comfortable with. The daily strife of dealing with someone who uses drugs and hangs around with dirtbags is no way to live. Best of luck-I'm sure others will be along with some real life experience and advice. [/QUOTE]
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