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20 year old daughter, etc.
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 369464" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Welcome to the boards! I can "hear" the frustration in your post. Many of us have been where you are; I know it's incredibly frustrating. I'd agree that Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, etc. is a good place to get some support for yourself, and your wife if she's willing. If she's not willing, go by yourself. </p><p></p><p>Does your daughter have a job, and is she doing anything to contribute to your household? My rule was, if you're not a full-time student, you get a job and pay rent (even if rent is a minimal amount). I take a tough line on drugs; since you've already caught her smoking pot in your home, I'd be tempted to search her room, and flush whatever you find. I'd also tell her that if you find them again, you'll call the police. That is tough for some parents, I know, but I think sometimes it's the only thing that get a kid's attention. It is tough if your wife isn't on the same page, though.. this is why if you can get her to go to a support group with you, it might help. IF you really decide to go tthe "Tough Love" route, you're going to need all the support you can get. </p><p></p><p>If your daughter is indeed borderline, I can highly recommend the book "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1592853633/ref=tmm_pap_title_0" target="_blank">The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder</a>." It helped me gain a better perspective on the disorder, and gave me some specific strategies for dealing with it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 369464, member: 1157"] Welcome to the boards! I can "hear" the frustration in your post. Many of us have been where you are; I know it's incredibly frustrating. I'd agree that Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, etc. is a good place to get some support for yourself, and your wife if she's willing. If she's not willing, go by yourself. Does your daughter have a job, and is she doing anything to contribute to your household? My rule was, if you're not a full-time student, you get a job and pay rent (even if rent is a minimal amount). I take a tough line on drugs; since you've already caught her smoking pot in your home, I'd be tempted to search her room, and flush whatever you find. I'd also tell her that if you find them again, you'll call the police. That is tough for some parents, I know, but I think sometimes it's the only thing that get a kid's attention. It is tough if your wife isn't on the same page, though.. this is why if you can get her to go to a support group with you, it might help. IF you really decide to go tthe "Tough Love" route, you're going to need all the support you can get. If your daughter is indeed borderline, I can highly recommend the book "[URL="http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1592853633/ref=tmm_pap_title_0"]The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder[/URL]." It helped me gain a better perspective on the disorder, and gave me some specific strategies for dealing with it. [/QUOTE]
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