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21 year old son won't move out
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 467722" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I suggest posting this on Parent Emeritus where the parents all have grown kids with issues.</p><p></p><p>I am one of them. Personally, he would have had his entire money supply cut off a long time ago if it were me. And no computer. And he'd have his bags packed. And when kids are minors I can see choosing kids over husband, but not when this child is an ADULT. I would have told the adult to go. The adult CHILD. It is YOUR house. YOU make the rules. He listens, pays rent, works full time, helps with utilities, etc. or he gets out or he will NEVER grow up and you will NEVER have a life. Your son is no longer your little child or your responsibility and if he married, he'd probably get divorced until he learns how to be an adult. You can help him do that, but not by letting him live a responsibility free life.</p><p></p><p>I have a son with autism who is eighteen and still in high school. He is getting supports so that he will be working by the time he is out of high school. I personally do not tolerate laziness...and do not feel it will help my precious son if I let him slide by on his disability. I feel he will feel useless and depressed if he does not contribute to society to the best of his ability. </p><p></p><p>You may want to read Melody Beatties terrific books on Codependency because that is what enablers are...codependents. And we are no good to those we love or to ourselves. We have to love ourselves in order to be the best we can for anybody else. I suggest starting out with "Codependent No More."</p><p></p><p>Take care and check over at Parent Emeritus <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 467722, member: 1550"] I suggest posting this on Parent Emeritus where the parents all have grown kids with issues. I am one of them. Personally, he would have had his entire money supply cut off a long time ago if it were me. And no computer. And he'd have his bags packed. And when kids are minors I can see choosing kids over husband, but not when this child is an ADULT. I would have told the adult to go. The adult CHILD. It is YOUR house. YOU make the rules. He listens, pays rent, works full time, helps with utilities, etc. or he gets out or he will NEVER grow up and you will NEVER have a life. Your son is no longer your little child or your responsibility and if he married, he'd probably get divorced until he learns how to be an adult. You can help him do that, but not by letting him live a responsibility free life. I have a son with autism who is eighteen and still in high school. He is getting supports so that he will be working by the time he is out of high school. I personally do not tolerate laziness...and do not feel it will help my precious son if I let him slide by on his disability. I feel he will feel useless and depressed if he does not contribute to society to the best of his ability. You may want to read Melody Beatties terrific books on Codependency because that is what enablers are...codependents. And we are no good to those we love or to ourselves. We have to love ourselves in order to be the best we can for anybody else. I suggest starting out with "Codependent No More." Take care and check over at Parent Emeritus :) [/QUOTE]
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21 year old son won't move out
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