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22 year old daughter with-1year old child is homeless.
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 718704" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome to our little corner of the world. I'm glad you found us here.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Your daughter is being extremely selfish. First, willingly having a child that she cannot take care of and then expecting you to take care of both of them.</p><p>I know how hard it is when there is a child involved but sometimes we have to separate ourselves from all of it.</p><p>From what you have shared your daughter sounds very bright. Just as my son is very bright he, like your daughter do not practice common sense. In their warped view of reality it's easier for them to blame someone else for the poor choices they have made.</p><p></p><p></p><p>While I'm sure she loves her daughter, to say she's not neglected is a stretch in my opinion. I know there are many people with children who are in shelters and my heart goes to them. I do not know all the circumstances that have led to them being where they are, however, when someone is offered help and they refuse because they don't want to have to adhere to "rules" they don't like, I have to question whether they are really motivated to make their lives better. </p><p></p><p></p><p>To me, this is pure manipulation and she is using an innocent child as a pawn. If she truly had her child's best interest at heart she would be willing to take the help and follow all the rules that go along with staying in your home. </p><p></p><p>I know it's hard but the best thing you can do for your daughter is nothing. You have offered her help but again, she doesn't want it unless it's on her terms. She made an adult decision by having a child and yet she expects you to "fix" everything for her. </p><p>There is a very fine line between helping and enabling. Helping is when the other person is actively working and putting forth the effort to make their life better. Enabling is when you do for the other person that which they should be and can be doing for themselves. </p><p>We can do more harm by enabling our adult difficult children. It is through life's struggles that we learn and grown.</p><p></p><p>You need to take care of yourself and that means you put yourself first. </p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you.........................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 718704, member: 18516"] Welcome to our little corner of the world. I'm glad you found us here. Your daughter is being extremely selfish. First, willingly having a child that she cannot take care of and then expecting you to take care of both of them. I know how hard it is when there is a child involved but sometimes we have to separate ourselves from all of it. From what you have shared your daughter sounds very bright. Just as my son is very bright he, like your daughter do not practice common sense. In their warped view of reality it's easier for them to blame someone else for the poor choices they have made. While I'm sure she loves her daughter, to say she's not neglected is a stretch in my opinion. I know there are many people with children who are in shelters and my heart goes to them. I do not know all the circumstances that have led to them being where they are, however, when someone is offered help and they refuse because they don't want to have to adhere to "rules" they don't like, I have to question whether they are really motivated to make their lives better. To me, this is pure manipulation and she is using an innocent child as a pawn. If she truly had her child's best interest at heart she would be willing to take the help and follow all the rules that go along with staying in your home. I know it's hard but the best thing you can do for your daughter is nothing. You have offered her help but again, she doesn't want it unless it's on her terms. She made an adult decision by having a child and yet she expects you to "fix" everything for her. There is a very fine line between helping and enabling. Helping is when the other person is actively working and putting forth the effort to make their life better. Enabling is when you do for the other person that which they should be and can be doing for themselves. We can do more harm by enabling our adult difficult children. It is through life's struggles that we learn and grown. You need to take care of yourself and that means you put yourself first. ((HUGS)) to you......................... [/QUOTE]
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22 year old daughter with-1year old child is homeless.
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