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Failure to Thrive
22 year old son with ADHD, depression in debt! Wants me to pay off his loans!
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<blockquote data-quote="GStorm" data-source="post: 731120" data-attributes="member: 22414"><p>Wow, this is a lot going on with your son. I read most of the posts & it</p><p>is overwhelming, just reading them, so I cannot imagine (or I can on some level) ,what you have been going through, as I have over-helped my son as well. (You can look back on my posts). For me, I am gradually detaching and putting the responsibility of things back in RJ's lap. It is hard because I love him. Like one (or more people) have noted, we respond in that FOG, Fear, Obligation, & Guilt. My family has had to intervene on me & even God spoke to me during the last crisis with RJ &</p><p>just said, "STOP!" I realized that I have had knee jerk reactions to what happens to him and generally want to fix it, nag him, &/or throw money at the issue.</p><p></p><p>As noted, there is support out there for your son; however, he will probably not take advantage of that as long as you keep "helping him."<strong>And believe me, I am not judging you at all, as I have been down this road & am still in it, falling in the hole sometime, but at least walking around it.</strong></p><p></p><p><strong>Poem by Portia Nelson</strong></p><p><strong>Autobiography in Five Chapters</strong></p><p><strong><em><strong><em>“There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk:</em></strong></em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Where are you?</em></strong></p><p></p><p><strong>Chapter I</strong></p><p>I walk down the street.</p><p>There is a deep hole in the sidewalk</p><p>I fall in.</p><p>I am lost … I am helpless.</p><p>It isn’t my fault.</p><p>It takes forever to find a way out.</p><p></p><p><strong>Chapter II</strong></p><p>I walk down the same street.</p><p>There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.</p><p>I pretend I don’t see it.</p><p>I fall in again.</p><p>I can’t believe I am in the same place.</p><p>But, it isn’t my fault.</p><p>It still takes a long time to get out.</p><p></p><p><strong>Chapter III</strong></p><p>I walk down the same street.</p><p>There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.</p><p>I see it is there.</p><p>I still fall in … it’s a habit … but,</p><p>my eyes are open.</p><p>I know where I am.</p><p>It is my fault.</p><p>I get out immediately.</p><p></p><p><strong>Chapter IV</strong></p><p></p><p>I walk down the same street.</p><p>There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.</p><p>I walk around it.</p><p></p><p><strong>Chapter V</strong></p><p>I walk down another street.</p><p></p><p><strong>YOU, TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!! & Believe me, this is easier said than done! </strong>I have never realized how much I have neglected myself until I started focusing on myself as a 61y/o woman, (dentist, counseling, taking my medications, exercising, following up with appointments, planning my meals, losing weight, finding out what I want to do & DOING IT!!!)</p><p>You will find out that "It's a Wonderful Life!" You deserve to take care of yourself. Stay in touch. Keep coming back to this website. It has been a God send for me & go to some Al-Anon , NAMI meetings, &/or counseling sessions for yourself. Stay in touch.</p><p></p><p>Sending you (((HUGS)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GStorm, post: 731120, member: 22414"] Wow, this is a lot going on with your son. I read most of the posts & it is overwhelming, just reading them, so I cannot imagine (or I can on some level) ,what you have been going through, as I have over-helped my son as well. (You can look back on my posts). For me, I am gradually detaching and putting the responsibility of things back in RJ's lap. It is hard because I love him. Like one (or more people) have noted, we respond in that FOG, Fear, Obligation, & Guilt. My family has had to intervene on me & even God spoke to me during the last crisis with RJ & just said, "STOP!" I realized that I have had knee jerk reactions to what happens to him and generally want to fix it, nag him, &/or throw money at the issue. As noted, there is support out there for your son; however, he will probably not take advantage of that as long as you keep "helping him."[B]And believe me, I am not judging you at all, as I have been down this road & am still in it, falling in the hole sometime, but at least walking around it.[/B] [B]Poem by Portia Nelson Autobiography in Five Chapters [I][B][I]“There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk:[/I][/B] Where are you?[/I][/B] [B]Chapter I[/B] I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost … I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. [B]Chapter II[/B] I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But, it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. [B]Chapter III[/B] I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. [B]Chapter IV[/B] I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. [B]Chapter V[/B] I walk down another street. [B]YOU, TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!! & Believe me, this is easier said than done! [/B]I have never realized how much I have neglected myself until I started focusing on myself as a 61y/o woman, (dentist, counseling, taking my medications, exercising, following up with appointments, planning my meals, losing weight, finding out what I want to do & DOING IT!!!) You will find out that "It's a Wonderful Life!" You deserve to take care of yourself. Stay in touch. Keep coming back to this website. It has been a God send for me & go to some Al-Anon , NAMI meetings, &/or counseling sessions for yourself. Stay in touch. Sending you (((HUGS))) [/QUOTE]
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22 year old son with ADHD, depression in debt! Wants me to pay off his loans!
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