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22 year old son with bipolar still living at home makes us miserable, what to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="MrMike" data-source="post: 603865" data-attributes="member: 16687"><p>Quick Update: Wife and I saw a counselor yesterday, and she was very helpful. Listened carefully to our description of our son, and gave a preliminary observation of what disorder it could be. It had some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), some bipolar in it, even could be schizophrenia possibly (but she wasn't real sure about that). I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and that is strongly bloodline-related, as is bipolar (my wife's brother has it). So, next session, she is going to get some more info from us on our son, and make a stronger opinion (as my son is not going for counseling, just my wife and I). And she is going to work out a short and long-term plan for us on how to deal with our son. She is very knowledgeable about all these possible things (psychological disorders) that my son could have, and so as continue to tell her about my son's behavior and thoughts, we are hoping that she feels she has enough of a picture of him (i.e. most of the pieces of the puzzle) that she give a pretty good guestimate of what he has. That will be a big help in and of itself, as up til now, the few counselors my son has seen all seem to have different opinions. Also, the plan that we will develop together (this counselor and us) will be a big help. I feel better about the whole situation already. </p><p></p><p>One other thing I want to point out is that it's important to try different counselors until you find one that is a good match for what you want to accomplish through counseling. We saw another counselor last week before this one, and he is not even in the same class as this one as far as knowledge of the psychological conditions involved and how to deal with them. All he did was ask me how long I wanted to have to deal with my son before I kicked him out. Although that may come in time (kicking him out), he gave me no way of attacking the problem (how to help my son), and was not knowledgeable enough about the possible conditions to offer any insight into what it might be, or how to deal with it. We are not ready to give up on my son yet, and if we can help him, or steer him in the right direction by seeing this new counselor, that's what we want. We don't want to give up on him without feeling like we did everything in our power to 1) gain understanding on what he has 2) learn how we can relate to him in the most psychologically-healthy way possible (for him and us), and 3) take the most appropriate actions in relation to him as possible to do right by him and us. I mean, we believe his is a sick young man (i.e has a serious psychological condition), and if we kick him out (again), and keep him out, we feel he won't get the help he needs and will spiral downward, and we aren't confident that will cause him to get the help he needs. It may come to that, of course, if he just wont get help, and refuses to change at all, even while we are doing all the right things based on the advice of our counselor (if there are even "right" things in this case), but we're taking it day-by-day right now, in an effort to understand the best we can what he has, and how we should be approaching it in order to give him and us the best chance to get psychologically healthy. In the end, it may not work, and he may not get any better, but we feel we at least have to try ... at least for now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MrMike, post: 603865, member: 16687"] Quick Update: Wife and I saw a counselor yesterday, and she was very helpful. Listened carefully to our description of our son, and gave a preliminary observation of what disorder it could be. It had some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), some bipolar in it, even could be schizophrenia possibly (but she wasn't real sure about that). I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and that is strongly bloodline-related, as is bipolar (my wife's brother has it). So, next session, she is going to get some more info from us on our son, and make a stronger opinion (as my son is not going for counseling, just my wife and I). And she is going to work out a short and long-term plan for us on how to deal with our son. She is very knowledgeable about all these possible things (psychological disorders) that my son could have, and so as continue to tell her about my son's behavior and thoughts, we are hoping that she feels she has enough of a picture of him (i.e. most of the pieces of the puzzle) that she give a pretty good guestimate of what he has. That will be a big help in and of itself, as up til now, the few counselors my son has seen all seem to have different opinions. Also, the plan that we will develop together (this counselor and us) will be a big help. I feel better about the whole situation already. One other thing I want to point out is that it's important to try different counselors until you find one that is a good match for what you want to accomplish through counseling. We saw another counselor last week before this one, and he is not even in the same class as this one as far as knowledge of the psychological conditions involved and how to deal with them. All he did was ask me how long I wanted to have to deal with my son before I kicked him out. Although that may come in time (kicking him out), he gave me no way of attacking the problem (how to help my son), and was not knowledgeable enough about the possible conditions to offer any insight into what it might be, or how to deal with it. We are not ready to give up on my son yet, and if we can help him, or steer him in the right direction by seeing this new counselor, that's what we want. We don't want to give up on him without feeling like we did everything in our power to 1) gain understanding on what he has 2) learn how we can relate to him in the most psychologically-healthy way possible (for him and us), and 3) take the most appropriate actions in relation to him as possible to do right by him and us. I mean, we believe his is a sick young man (i.e has a serious psychological condition), and if we kick him out (again), and keep him out, we feel he won't get the help he needs and will spiral downward, and we aren't confident that will cause him to get the help he needs. It may come to that, of course, if he just wont get help, and refuses to change at all, even while we are doing all the right things based on the advice of our counselor (if there are even "right" things in this case), but we're taking it day-by-day right now, in an effort to understand the best we can what he has, and how we should be approaching it in order to give him and us the best chance to get psychologically healthy. In the end, it may not work, and he may not get any better, but we feel we at least have to try ... at least for now. [/QUOTE]
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22 year old son with bipolar still living at home makes us miserable, what to do?
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