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Failure to Thrive
23 yr old brother needs help
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<blockquote data-quote="Sister seeking help" data-source="post: 705323" data-attributes="member: 21205"><p>Susiestar and recoveringenabler,</p><p></p><p>Thank you very much for you insight. I think the reality that my parents are getting older and seeing health concerns arise has led them to really want to pursue some help here. My father particularly sees the need to get him independent. But, day by day, they aren't doing anything to help him. My mom seems to have this view that things will get better, that their man child is still a kid and will someday soon wake up and accept adulthood. She meets his demands. She gives him an allowance, drives him to comic con conferences, cooks special meals, runs out to get him a bag of chips or ice cream. I say mom, why do you do this? "Because I love your brother and don't want to see him hungry."</p><p></p><p>As teenagers, neither myself or my brother were pushed to transition to adulthood; coming home over breaks during college, I always felt like a kid again. I don't know if this plays into things, this mentality that her son is still her baby boy.</p><p></p><p>For many years now, my parents have expressed frustrations with their "odd" child. I'll suggest this or that, and it's always "You know your brother is different, he's not the same as you. So what he didn't go to college or he's not working. Some people take different paths. He'll get there when he's ready. You worry about yourself." And that's our conversation. And I let it rest for a few months.</p><p></p><p>I have an uncle who lived with my grandparents until they passed, for a variety of reasons (drug, arrests, DWI, unemployed) and he wasn't functioning in life. I don't want that to be my brother. I want him to have some kind of life. I really worry what would happen to him if my parents couldn't take care of him. He has no life skills.</p><p></p><p>The autism aspect is very interesting and I'm very intrigued to explore that and maybe get my parents to take him to a neuropsychologist. Fun tidbit, I'm working with kids with autism right now. I know autism presents itself a variety of ways across the spectrum, but it's just so interesting to think my brother may fall under this category. I'm just learning about autism myself, but my brother's behavior seems so different from these kids...but maybe not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sister seeking help, post: 705323, member: 21205"] Susiestar and recoveringenabler, Thank you very much for you insight. I think the reality that my parents are getting older and seeing health concerns arise has led them to really want to pursue some help here. My father particularly sees the need to get him independent. But, day by day, they aren't doing anything to help him. My mom seems to have this view that things will get better, that their man child is still a kid and will someday soon wake up and accept adulthood. She meets his demands. She gives him an allowance, drives him to comic con conferences, cooks special meals, runs out to get him a bag of chips or ice cream. I say mom, why do you do this? "Because I love your brother and don't want to see him hungry." As teenagers, neither myself or my brother were pushed to transition to adulthood; coming home over breaks during college, I always felt like a kid again. I don't know if this plays into things, this mentality that her son is still her baby boy. For many years now, my parents have expressed frustrations with their "odd" child. I'll suggest this or that, and it's always "You know your brother is different, he's not the same as you. So what he didn't go to college or he's not working. Some people take different paths. He'll get there when he's ready. You worry about yourself." And that's our conversation. And I let it rest for a few months. I have an uncle who lived with my grandparents until they passed, for a variety of reasons (drug, arrests, DWI, unemployed) and he wasn't functioning in life. I don't want that to be my brother. I want him to have some kind of life. I really worry what would happen to him if my parents couldn't take care of him. He has no life skills. The autism aspect is very interesting and I'm very intrigued to explore that and maybe get my parents to take him to a neuropsychologist. Fun tidbit, I'm working with kids with autism right now. I know autism presents itself a variety of ways across the spectrum, but it's just so interesting to think my brother may fall under this category. I'm just learning about autism myself, but my brother's behavior seems so different from these kids...but maybe not. [/QUOTE]
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23 yr old brother needs help
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