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Parent Emeritus
27 year old son one step from the streets
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 713469" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. Im sorry you are upset. Although you gave birth to your son, at 27 it is more helpful to think of him as a man, not your little boy in any way a child. Many of us have trouble seeing our grown kids as anything other than the cute child they once were. In fact, they are tall, strong, able bodied adults who often abuse us in ways we would never allow a spouse to do.</p><p></p><p>A fully grown adult who physically or mentally abuses us, child or not, is a domestic abuser. Shame on your son for abusing a 60 year old woman! Most young adults start worrying about their older parents by your sons age. Instead, he is pushing you, abusing you, and causing trauma...not any different than an abusive spouse would. Why put up with it? I have a zero tolerance abuse rule for my oldest son who has no trouble calling me names.</p><p></p><p>I am lucky...I think. My son is two states away and has a great job. So I dont worry about a roof over his head. But he can abuse me. Now.. at the first utterance of abuse I disconnect the call or text and wont respond again for three days. He is much kinder now.</p><p></p><p>We can only share our own experiences. I am 63 with other grown kids who all nice to me... and a great husband. I am not going to be abused by anyone, even an adult child that I love. Sorry. Not happening.</p><p></p><p>I think your ex has the right idea. 27 is way too old to excuse bad behavior in my opinion. Do seek therapy again and learn how to detach from his abuse and drama. Or else you could get very sick. Your son is 27, not 7. He is making his own bad decisions and, unlike when he was 7, it is not your duty or responsibility to take care of him.</p><p></p><p>I think you would feel calmer and happier if you focused on yourself. Travel! Move! Go back to old hobbies, exercise, meet new people (yes, we can even at our ages), volunteer, get a new pet, bird watch, sing, dance...let your son go. You cant change him and your help doesnt help. He is a man. If he is able bodied, he can get a job. Dont let him live eith you ever. He is abusive. He is too old to go home to mommy.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and sunshine!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 713469, member: 1550"] Hi. Im sorry you are upset. Although you gave birth to your son, at 27 it is more helpful to think of him as a man, not your little boy in any way a child. Many of us have trouble seeing our grown kids as anything other than the cute child they once were. In fact, they are tall, strong, able bodied adults who often abuse us in ways we would never allow a spouse to do. A fully grown adult who physically or mentally abuses us, child or not, is a domestic abuser. Shame on your son for abusing a 60 year old woman! Most young adults start worrying about their older parents by your sons age. Instead, he is pushing you, abusing you, and causing trauma...not any different than an abusive spouse would. Why put up with it? I have a zero tolerance abuse rule for my oldest son who has no trouble calling me names. I am lucky...I think. My son is two states away and has a great job. So I dont worry about a roof over his head. But he can abuse me. Now.. at the first utterance of abuse I disconnect the call or text and wont respond again for three days. He is much kinder now. We can only share our own experiences. I am 63 with other grown kids who all nice to me... and a great husband. I am not going to be abused by anyone, even an adult child that I love. Sorry. Not happening. I think your ex has the right idea. 27 is way too old to excuse bad behavior in my opinion. Do seek therapy again and learn how to detach from his abuse and drama. Or else you could get very sick. Your son is 27, not 7. He is making his own bad decisions and, unlike when he was 7, it is not your duty or responsibility to take care of him. I think you would feel calmer and happier if you focused on yourself. Travel! Move! Go back to old hobbies, exercise, meet new people (yes, we can even at our ages), volunteer, get a new pet, bird watch, sing, dance...let your son go. You cant change him and your help doesnt help. He is a man. If he is able bodied, he can get a job. Dont let him live eith you ever. He is abusive. He is too old to go home to mommy. Hugs and sunshine!! [/QUOTE]
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27 year old son one step from the streets
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