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Substance Abuse
30 year old daughter has done horrible things to me
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<blockquote data-quote="Smithmom" data-source="post: 741950" data-attributes="member: 23371"><p>I so sorry for your pain. Just a couple of thoughts. </p><p></p><p>Some states have laws allowing grandparents rights. Find out if you have any legal rights.</p><p></p><p>Find someone, such as your son, who can act as a go-between. Assuming your daughter has alienated her against you I would take a very slow approach to re-establishing a relationship. I'd start with having your son mention you to her each time he speaks to her. Something true. Eg grandma and I saw this... Movie, model, news report ....and thought of you. Grandma made ... For dinner and said how much you used to love it. Grandma said... She's worried about you, wondered if you saw it, thought you have the same eyes, thought you'd love it, .... Nothing pushy, nothing overt, just reinforcement that grandma thinks of/ cares for you consistently. Eventually ...grandma saw.. And wondered if you'd like it. Can she send it to you? Can grandma email you the article she saw about.... </p><p></p><p>What I'm saying is that as a child living with a parent she wants to, has to for her own mental health, believe her parent. You don't want to change that. You only want to remind her consistently that you are there caring about her. She will eventually think for herself, about you and other things. Natural pre-teen anyway. She will eventually reach out to you. </p><p></p><p>Third thought. You said she just got back this child. If that was through a court process your granddaughter has a social worker and/ or court advocate. While it would make your daughter irate, if they would recommend visitation with your granddau the court could order it as part of the custody. Tricky because it would alienate your daughter further. But this is about "the child's best interest, not hers". Be sure to use those words in legal discussion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Smithmom, post: 741950, member: 23371"] I so sorry for your pain. Just a couple of thoughts. Some states have laws allowing grandparents rights. Find out if you have any legal rights. Find someone, such as your son, who can act as a go-between. Assuming your daughter has alienated her against you I would take a very slow approach to re-establishing a relationship. I'd start with having your son mention you to her each time he speaks to her. Something true. Eg grandma and I saw this... Movie, model, news report ....and thought of you. Grandma made ... For dinner and said how much you used to love it. Grandma said... She's worried about you, wondered if you saw it, thought you have the same eyes, thought you'd love it, .... Nothing pushy, nothing overt, just reinforcement that grandma thinks of/ cares for you consistently. Eventually ...grandma saw.. And wondered if you'd like it. Can she send it to you? Can grandma email you the article she saw about.... What I'm saying is that as a child living with a parent she wants to, has to for her own mental health, believe her parent. You don't want to change that. You only want to remind her consistently that you are there caring about her. She will eventually think for herself, about you and other things. Natural pre-teen anyway. She will eventually reach out to you. Third thought. You said she just got back this child. If that was through a court process your granddaughter has a social worker and/ or court advocate. While it would make your daughter irate, if they would recommend visitation with your granddau the court could order it as part of the custody. Tricky because it would alienate your daughter further. But this is about "the child's best interest, not hers". Be sure to use those words in legal discussion. [/QUOTE]
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30 year old daughter has done horrible things to me
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