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Substance Abuse
30 year old daughter has done horrible things to me
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 741983" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Same. My marriage was very abusive and got progressively more violent. I stayed because the older kids are not mine biologically and I would have had no custody or visitation rights if I left, and they had already been abandoned by one mother. I still have PTSD and I still struggle with guilt that I couldn’t stop it. I worry about the treatment towards women both my sons and my daughters saw modeled. I worry that they’ll think it’s normal, and repeat those patterns. I worry that they respect me less and take me less seriously because they saw that I could not defend myself - my boys had to come to my defense on multiple occasions in their teen years. I worry about the abuse they endured themselves that I could not entirely prevent. I GET IT. </p><p></p><p>But we can’t change the past. And the past doesn’t excuse their adult behaviors. The choices they are making now are their own. We did the best we could in the circumstances we were faced with, and we have to forgive ourselves for not being perfect. We are not superheroes. </p><p></p><p>I understand your wish that she would relapse or come to some other crises that would force the issue with your grands. And now she’s pregnant again? Sadly chances sound good that she won’t maintain enough stability to retain custody. Call cps if you have to. </p><p></p><p>Keep posting. You’re not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 741983, member: 23349"] Same. My marriage was very abusive and got progressively more violent. I stayed because the older kids are not mine biologically and I would have had no custody or visitation rights if I left, and they had already been abandoned by one mother. I still have PTSD and I still struggle with guilt that I couldn’t stop it. I worry about the treatment towards women both my sons and my daughters saw modeled. I worry that they’ll think it’s normal, and repeat those patterns. I worry that they respect me less and take me less seriously because they saw that I could not defend myself - my boys had to come to my defense on multiple occasions in their teen years. I worry about the abuse they endured themselves that I could not entirely prevent. I GET IT. But we can’t change the past. And the past doesn’t excuse their adult behaviors. The choices they are making now are their own. We did the best we could in the circumstances we were faced with, and we have to forgive ourselves for not being perfect. We are not superheroes. I understand your wish that she would relapse or come to some other crises that would force the issue with your grands. And now she’s pregnant again? Sadly chances sound good that she won’t maintain enough stability to retain custody. Call cps if you have to. Keep posting. You’re not alone. [/QUOTE]
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30 year old daughter has done horrible things to me
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