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Substance Abuse
30 year old daughter has done horrible things to me
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 742060" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>53 is still young enough to help your grands. I am glad. I am not sure your granddaughter is happier with an unstable mom than with a stable grandmother and aunt.</p><p></p><p>Dear Jenna, I understand the trauma bond so well. I had a family that decided I was the family scapegoat and was very abused by all. My sister called the POLICE on me every time we had a falling out, which was almost always her decision....to cut me off for months or years BUT she had to call the police first to have them warn me not to cintact her. Yet I, against the advice of my loving family of choice, kept going back to her when she whistled. She even called the cops after I moved out of state. I often asked myself why I took her back. Trauma bond for sure. After my father passed I finally cut ties with her and read a lot about the trauma bond. You start to both put up with any crumb you are given and do anything to try to get love. I get it. I was not as extreme as you, but these also werent my children, thus it was easier to finally quit. But I made a fool out of myself to my mother too. I so wanted the love she couldn't give. All my loving calls and letters, which were NEVER returned to me OR my kids ,(she snubbed my kids completely) did not make her think kindly of me. She disinherited me as her last haha from the grave...not that she had money, that wasnt it. The rejection hurt and I should have dumped the rest of my family then as nobody cared if it hurt me. But guess what? I forgave them! I still do, but I dont associate as one of them anymore at all. I have already decided to write a unique obit that does not include anyone in my FOO except my dear grandmother and my father. Ok, ok...morbid stuff but my family knows my wishes. I digress.....</p><p></p><p>I totally get you and feel so much for your hurting heart. We will always be here for you. 24/7 even on Christmas.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 742060, member: 1550"] 53 is still young enough to help your grands. I am glad. I am not sure your granddaughter is happier with an unstable mom than with a stable grandmother and aunt. Dear Jenna, I understand the trauma bond so well. I had a family that decided I was the family scapegoat and was very abused by all. My sister called the POLICE on me every time we had a falling out, which was almost always her decision....to cut me off for months or years BUT she had to call the police first to have them warn me not to cintact her. Yet I, against the advice of my loving family of choice, kept going back to her when she whistled. She even called the cops after I moved out of state. I often asked myself why I took her back. Trauma bond for sure. After my father passed I finally cut ties with her and read a lot about the trauma bond. You start to both put up with any crumb you are given and do anything to try to get love. I get it. I was not as extreme as you, but these also werent my children, thus it was easier to finally quit. But I made a fool out of myself to my mother too. I so wanted the love she couldn't give. All my loving calls and letters, which were NEVER returned to me OR my kids ,(she snubbed my kids completely) did not make her think kindly of me. She disinherited me as her last haha from the grave...not that she had money, that wasnt it. The rejection hurt and I should have dumped the rest of my family then as nobody cared if it hurt me. But guess what? I forgave them! I still do, but I dont associate as one of them anymore at all. I have already decided to write a unique obit that does not include anyone in my FOO except my dear grandmother and my father. Ok, ok...morbid stuff but my family knows my wishes. I digress..... I totally get you and feel so much for your hurting heart. We will always be here for you. 24/7 even on Christmas. [/QUOTE]
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30 year old daughter has done horrible things to me
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