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34 year old son is killing my soul
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<blockquote data-quote="beebz" data-source="post: 742050" data-attributes="member: 23451"><p>Soo yeah, I'm medicated. However, there is not a magic pill to cope with life - please understand I am not being disrespectful to you. A pill isn't going to help with taking care of my grand daughters, taking care of my parents who are 89 and 84 who live with me, nursing a dog currently who just had an operation 2 days ago, another dog at this very moment I am deciding on putting down today or not. I haven't had any sleep being awake with my ill pups all night. Coping with life is what it is and a pill isn't going to help with any of my daily problems. A pill cant make anything go away, at all. I DO however take them. I take regular prozac and some buspar, gabapentin, regular epidurals for a severe back issue etc. I'm just so so so exhausted and sad. I've been on every pill on the market - I've had numerous side effects ie constapation, dizziness and switched so many times that they've run out of pills for me to try. And I refuse to try all the new crap that is shoved down our throats. It isn't that they don't work as much as the side effects are worse than the original issues. I poo 60 times a month and one of the drugs had me down to 4 times a month. I didn't want to trade off being a happy pooper for another pill to relieve the constipation . I'm not making excuses ; I've had very good care for many years with many opinions and I simply need to cope but my plate is so full. I am an only child now and there is zero, zip, nada, no one to help me with my adult child and his wife, their two kids, my parents living with me etc - hell, add a crazy neighbor on top of that who keeps me up all night by playing on my land at 3am literally in my backyard and thinks me calling the sheriff is being a *pussy* - lord have mercy on my soul. Remember that idiot in Kentucky who attacked the neighbor who was a senator and beat the tar out of him? It was national news - at any rate - I have a psycho neighbor, he really is nuts - and has the audacity to argue with me about playing in my backyard at 3am - says I'm a chronic complainer when he cuts down my forest because I have 5 acres of trees and he has 5 acres of grass and he thinks MY trees need to be cleared - it is impossible to argue or even speak to an ill mind who is already a felon for a hate crime in Alaska - soooo - lol -- I DO however find many many things to make me happy. I ride my bike, hike, fly kites - take looooong rides in my truck - play with me grand daughters like I'm 7 years old myself. Spoil them rotten. Set up tents in the house, let them make 3 feet tall bubbles in the jacuzzi . Picnic, go to fairs, festivals etc. Purposefully get lost on back roads. Hike in the middle of the night without flashlights. I have pets, a parrot who talks, an owl right outside my bedroom window - we build nest boxes and attracts Screech Owls and are going on 4 years now of mommies daddies and babies. That sort of thing. But, it is impossible for me not to think of or love my first born. Thanks for listening. I think my therapy is the internet and forums also.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="beebz, post: 742050, member: 23451"] Soo yeah, I'm medicated. However, there is not a magic pill to cope with life - please understand I am not being disrespectful to you. A pill isn't going to help with taking care of my grand daughters, taking care of my parents who are 89 and 84 who live with me, nursing a dog currently who just had an operation 2 days ago, another dog at this very moment I am deciding on putting down today or not. I haven't had any sleep being awake with my ill pups all night. Coping with life is what it is and a pill isn't going to help with any of my daily problems. A pill cant make anything go away, at all. I DO however take them. I take regular prozac and some buspar, gabapentin, regular epidurals for a severe back issue etc. I'm just so so so exhausted and sad. I've been on every pill on the market - I've had numerous side effects ie constapation, dizziness and switched so many times that they've run out of pills for me to try. And I refuse to try all the new crap that is shoved down our throats. It isn't that they don't work as much as the side effects are worse than the original issues. I poo 60 times a month and one of the drugs had me down to 4 times a month. I didn't want to trade off being a happy pooper for another pill to relieve the constipation . I'm not making excuses ; I've had very good care for many years with many opinions and I simply need to cope but my plate is so full. I am an only child now and there is zero, zip, nada, no one to help me with my adult child and his wife, their two kids, my parents living with me etc - hell, add a crazy neighbor on top of that who keeps me up all night by playing on my land at 3am literally in my backyard and thinks me calling the sheriff is being a *pussy* - lord have mercy on my soul. Remember that idiot in Kentucky who attacked the neighbor who was a senator and beat the tar out of him? It was national news - at any rate - I have a psycho neighbor, he really is nuts - and has the audacity to argue with me about playing in my backyard at 3am - says I'm a chronic complainer when he cuts down my forest because I have 5 acres of trees and he has 5 acres of grass and he thinks MY trees need to be cleared - it is impossible to argue or even speak to an ill mind who is already a felon for a hate crime in Alaska - soooo - lol -- I DO however find many many things to make me happy. I ride my bike, hike, fly kites - take looooong rides in my truck - play with me grand daughters like I'm 7 years old myself. Spoil them rotten. Set up tents in the house, let them make 3 feet tall bubbles in the jacuzzi . Picnic, go to fairs, festivals etc. Purposefully get lost on back roads. Hike in the middle of the night without flashlights. I have pets, a parrot who talks, an owl right outside my bedroom window - we build nest boxes and attracts Screech Owls and are going on 4 years now of mommies daddies and babies. That sort of thing. But, it is impossible for me not to think of or love my first born. Thanks for listening. I think my therapy is the internet and forums also. [/QUOTE]
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