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34 year old son is killing my soul
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 742051" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi beebz, I'm glad you posted.</p><p></p><p>From what you have shared you don't have a full plate, honey, you have full buffet!! My goodness you have a lot to deal with.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You have nothing to feel guilty about! You did not force your son to make his choices and get involved with doing drugs, he did that on his own. It is tragically sad that our adult children choose such destructive paths. </p><p>I love my son dearly but I made a decision for myself years ago that I would no longer waste my time or energy worrying about him. I will no longer allow him to hold my emotions hostage nor steal my joy.</p><p>I have my life to live and he has his life to live - it is what it is. </p><p>It's been said many times that if Love alone could save our kids there wouldn't be a need for this site.</p><p>We cannot save our kids, they have to want first to save themselves then do the hard work to make it happen.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm so glad that you have such a wonderful variety of activities in your life that bring fill you with happiness.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Something that helped me was to grieve my son. Yes, he's still alive but there were so many dark nights that I would wonder if he was lying dead in a ditch or abandoned warehouse. Worrying and wondering was consuming me. I knew I needed to change something. I mourned him. I grieved for the sweet loving little boy he used to be, for all the hopes and dreams I had for him, for the relationship I wished we could have had. Then I accepted to stark reality that yes, he very well could die and worse, I may never know. It was through the acceptance that I was able to really let go. I was able to move on and live my life.</p><p></p><p>I have occasional contact with my son. He's currently in a half way house after getting out of prison. He claims he's sober and attending AA. I do not get my hopes up as I have been down this road far too many time with him. I, just as you, will always love my son but I cannot save him nor can you save your son. </p><p></p><p>This journey that we all here share is not an easy one but we do not have to let our sorrow consume us. </p><p></p><p>I'm so glad you are here with us!!</p><p></p><p>I wish you some good restful nights of sleep and send you ((HUGS))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 742051, member: 18516"] Hi beebz, I'm glad you posted. From what you have shared you don't have a full plate, honey, you have full buffet!! My goodness you have a lot to deal with. You have nothing to feel guilty about! You did not force your son to make his choices and get involved with doing drugs, he did that on his own. It is tragically sad that our adult children choose such destructive paths. I love my son dearly but I made a decision for myself years ago that I would no longer waste my time or energy worrying about him. I will no longer allow him to hold my emotions hostage nor steal my joy. I have my life to live and he has his life to live - it is what it is. It's been said many times that if Love alone could save our kids there wouldn't be a need for this site. We cannot save our kids, they have to want first to save themselves then do the hard work to make it happen. I'm so glad that you have such a wonderful variety of activities in your life that bring fill you with happiness. Something that helped me was to grieve my son. Yes, he's still alive but there were so many dark nights that I would wonder if he was lying dead in a ditch or abandoned warehouse. Worrying and wondering was consuming me. I knew I needed to change something. I mourned him. I grieved for the sweet loving little boy he used to be, for all the hopes and dreams I had for him, for the relationship I wished we could have had. Then I accepted to stark reality that yes, he very well could die and worse, I may never know. It was through the acceptance that I was able to really let go. I was able to move on and live my life. I have occasional contact with my son. He's currently in a half way house after getting out of prison. He claims he's sober and attending AA. I do not get my hopes up as I have been down this road far too many time with him. I, just as you, will always love my son but I cannot save him nor can you save your son. This journey that we all here share is not an easy one but we do not have to let our sorrow consume us. I'm so glad you are here with us!! I wish you some good restful nights of sleep and send you ((HUGS)) [/QUOTE]
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34 year old son is killing my soul
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