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36 hours after release from jail, difficult child is high and drunk...
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 618885" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>What you are doing is normal. What you are feeling is normal. This hard road is a one-step-at-a-time process. You can only do the best you can do at any given moment. </p><p></p><p>When you learn differently, you will do differently. </p><p></p><p>Yes, what you said about "the typical difficult child thing." It's that thing they do. Drama, victim talk, putting it back on us. It's all the same stuff. It's as if there is a script and they have all studied it. </p><p></p><p>Sort out what you WANT to do. What do you want to do---first for yourself? What do you want to do, for him? Write it down.</p><p></p><p>Writing it down helps it cement itself in you. And it's a great reference for when you aren't sure, are confused, get upset by him. </p><p></p><p>On another thread, Cedar writes about radical acceptance. </p><p></p><p>We must accept what is. </p><p></p><p>Think about that statement. </p><p></p><p>We know we can't change it. We have already tried all of that, a dozen ways to Sunday. Ten dozen ways. A hundred. So if we can't change it, what are we to do?</p><p></p><p>Rail against something forever that we can't change? What a waste. What a terrible waste of our precious lives, our precious energy, our precious time. And....it hurts them. We are standing in the way, in the breach, between them and the stark reality they must face that THEY and only THEY are responsible for their lives, just like WE and only WE are responsible for OUR lives. </p><p></p><p>I vote for acceptance. I vote for doing the hard work for that unthinkable thing that means accepting what is, today. </p><p></p><p>Yes, we still have hope. Yes, things can change. We aren't giving up. We're accepting what is, today.</p><p></p><p>So, make mistakes. But try again. It's the only path to peace I have found on this hard walk.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 618885, member: 17542"] What you are doing is normal. What you are feeling is normal. This hard road is a one-step-at-a-time process. You can only do the best you can do at any given moment. When you learn differently, you will do differently. Yes, what you said about "the typical difficult child thing." It's that thing they do. Drama, victim talk, putting it back on us. It's all the same stuff. It's as if there is a script and they have all studied it. Sort out what you WANT to do. What do you want to do---first for yourself? What do you want to do, for him? Write it down. Writing it down helps it cement itself in you. And it's a great reference for when you aren't sure, are confused, get upset by him. On another thread, Cedar writes about radical acceptance. We must accept what is. Think about that statement. We know we can't change it. We have already tried all of that, a dozen ways to Sunday. Ten dozen ways. A hundred. So if we can't change it, what are we to do? Rail against something forever that we can't change? What a waste. What a terrible waste of our precious lives, our precious energy, our precious time. And....it hurts them. We are standing in the way, in the breach, between them and the stark reality they must face that THEY and only THEY are responsible for their lives, just like WE and only WE are responsible for OUR lives. I vote for acceptance. I vote for doing the hard work for that unthinkable thing that means accepting what is, today. Yes, we still have hope. Yes, things can change. We aren't giving up. We're accepting what is, today. So, make mistakes. But try again. It's the only path to peace I have found on this hard walk. [/QUOTE]
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36 hours after release from jail, difficult child is high and drunk...
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