My difficult child son, whom I took to Colorado to start a new life, (I have a thread on here dated June 2013) recently spent 7 weeks in prison and was bailed out yesterday. He was arrested for second degree assault against the girl he was living with but this girl really IS unstable-not that my son was blameless, I'm sure. Yesterday he waived his right to a preliminary hearing (or there was going to be a 5-16 years mandatory sentence in PRISON) so that a deal could be made. His bond was reduced from $1, 000 to $500 and he was able to pay this due to money he'd saved (from a govt. issued card and money from grandma for his 25th birthday, which he spent in jail). So his dad, my ex, agreed to go get him and let him stay with him and his younger brother, who lives with him, for a few days. I spoke to my difficult child and he seemed genuinely penitent, confused as to whether he should pursue a trial. His public defender seems to think he has a good case against the girlfriend-even this girls mother, who is an attorney for the state of Colorado, went to visit my son in jail and was very emotional and crying, saying how much she cared about my son, how he had potential and she would help him with rehab and treatment, housing, etc. SHe told my son that it would be best for him to stay away from her daughter, as she would drag him down. This girl is a meth addict who seems to regularly pick up druggies and alcoholics and get very involved with them. So given the fact that my difficult child has been given yet another chance-mandatory prison time has been taken off the table in favor of probation and sober living, (he returns to court on Feb 28) and that he is full of good intentions, I have to wonder why I get a text from my ex saying that difficult child is high on Xanax and drunk. His brother read him the riot act and he left. I am a lurker and a reader of all the wisdom dispensed here, but I cannot for the life of me decide how to process all this. Yet again. I'm in therapy which is wonderful but I had a hard time with the idea of him being in jail in yet another state, especially with the prospect of prison hanging over him. Yesterday when we talked I had a relief that he was out and ready to really learn from this. I also had a feeling of doom that he would screw things up again. And here it is-if he's not in jail again tonight I'll be amazed. I have read the wonderful Detachment article but I guess I must accept that I will never have peace of mind about this young man until he's in the grave or until he is incarcerated again. I think I'm just venting-the disappointment and death of hope just stretches into infinity.