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Parent Emeritus
37 yo daughter facing homelessness
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<blockquote data-quote="Mcmary" data-source="post: 707909" data-attributes="member: 21363"><p>Well, I know that there are no experts per se because every situation is unique, but I will tell you that Dr C was absolutely right.. like he had a crystal ball about what was going to happen if we did what we did despite his warning. He doesn't say that parents are always wrong but he does tell you that if you don't want estrangement, you have to say you are sorry for things and do things you absolutely don't want to do. And you feel like he is telling you that you were wrong, but he isn't saying that at all. He's saying that taking the ego out when dealing with emotionally immature "adult" children is a necessary evil... at first at least until things defuse. And we refused to do it, even out of love. We thought we found a better way and he warned us and he was right. If we had just sucked it up, we would be seeing our grandson.</p><p></p><p>On the otherhand, this particular situation with my daughter isn't true estrangement, it's something else entirely except that she is staying away right now. I will see what he says at our appointment this week given the circumstances. I do trust that he is really smart about this stuff. And, yes, I've read all the naysayers... but they probably just read his book or did his webinars; they didn't get true advice and counsoling about very specific situations. You get what you pay for.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, please keep writing me back as I do feel that only moms and dads can help each other with this stuff. I hope to hear from others as well and be able to help you all be strong too!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mcmary, post: 707909, member: 21363"] Well, I know that there are no experts per se because every situation is unique, but I will tell you that Dr C was absolutely right.. like he had a crystal ball about what was going to happen if we did what we did despite his warning. He doesn't say that parents are always wrong but he does tell you that if you don't want estrangement, you have to say you are sorry for things and do things you absolutely don't want to do. And you feel like he is telling you that you were wrong, but he isn't saying that at all. He's saying that taking the ego out when dealing with emotionally immature "adult" children is a necessary evil... at first at least until things defuse. And we refused to do it, even out of love. We thought we found a better way and he warned us and he was right. If we had just sucked it up, we would be seeing our grandson. On the otherhand, this particular situation with my daughter isn't true estrangement, it's something else entirely except that she is staying away right now. I will see what he says at our appointment this week given the circumstances. I do trust that he is really smart about this stuff. And, yes, I've read all the naysayers... but they probably just read his book or did his webinars; they didn't get true advice and counsoling about very specific situations. You get what you pay for. Anyway, please keep writing me back as I do feel that only moms and dads can help each other with this stuff. I hope to hear from others as well and be able to help you all be strong too! [/QUOTE]
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37 yo daughter facing homelessness
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