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Parent Emeritus
37 yo daughter facing homelessness
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 707919" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I guess you are right. Also most people on that site, including me, have already been through so much that we aren't interested in having to walk on eggshells forever. You probably would not have to. I know I would have to mull over all i did and every word i said word I said with the possibility of another estrangement. Most of us already apologized repeatedly but we also were never told what we did wrong so we weren't sure what we were apologizing for. And our apologies mostly didn't work, although you said it isn't a true estrangement with your daughter.</p><p></p><p>My son's wife was the instigator and all my letters and birthday cards and gifts and even had one intervention at his church (the only time I saw him in the last ten years) ...He was just not going to forgive for issues he never addressed. And he did not address them even at the church. I know he never would have gone to see a therapist I wanted him to see. His wife wanted him to herself and he stopped communicating even with a sister he was very close to...All happened right after he met his wife. Before that he actively engaged with all of us.</p><p></p><p>But he was in an orphanage for six years before we adopted him and always had attachment issues. Your daughters past is that she was with you from birth. It is certainly more hopeful. I never read Dr. Cs book. By the time it came out, I was done trying and had moved on with my kids who were close to me. I did not want this son to ever get to hurt me for unnamed reasons again. I do know he is doing well and for that I am grateful...I don't have to think about him with worry. And I am able to enjoy my hubby and four other adult children in peace.</p><p></p><p>I wish you well <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />. You have every reason for hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 707919, member: 1550"] I guess you are right. Also most people on that site, including me, have already been through so much that we aren't interested in having to walk on eggshells forever. You probably would not have to. I know I would have to mull over all i did and every word i said word I said with the possibility of another estrangement. Most of us already apologized repeatedly but we also were never told what we did wrong so we weren't sure what we were apologizing for. And our apologies mostly didn't work, although you said it isn't a true estrangement with your daughter. My son's wife was the instigator and all my letters and birthday cards and gifts and even had one intervention at his church (the only time I saw him in the last ten years) ...He was just not going to forgive for issues he never addressed. And he did not address them even at the church. I know he never would have gone to see a therapist I wanted him to see. His wife wanted him to herself and he stopped communicating even with a sister he was very close to...All happened right after he met his wife. Before that he actively engaged with all of us. But he was in an orphanage for six years before we adopted him and always had attachment issues. Your daughters past is that she was with you from birth. It is certainly more hopeful. I never read Dr. Cs book. By the time it came out, I was done trying and had moved on with my kids who were close to me. I did not want this son to ever get to hurt me for unnamed reasons again. I do know he is doing well and for that I am grateful...I don't have to think about him with worry. And I am able to enjoy my hubby and four other adult children in peace. I wish you well :). You have every reason for hope. [/QUOTE]
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