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43 year old homeless son
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 637838" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Marie, my son is 25 and he has threatened suicide multiple times. I don't believe he ever had any intention of killing himself, but I reacted to his threats multiple times, which taught him that threatening suicide would get me to act on his behalf.</p><p></p><p>Finally, I realized what was going on. It still scared me, because you never know what someone will do, but I also learned and realized that like every other thing about him, I couldn't control this either.</p><p></p><p>That if he wants to kill himself, he will. And there is nothing I can do to stop it. I have come to terms with that fact.</p><p></p><p>I began telling him that I would call the police every single time he threatened suicide, and of course, he called my bluff. I called the police the next time he did it, and as a result he spent a week in a psychiatric hospital. He didn't like that.</p><p></p><p>The last time he threatened suicide, I was nearby, so I drove to where he was and I got in his face, and I reiterated the fact that I would call the police right now. He backed off, and it hasn't happened again.</p><p></p><p>Now, I want to be clear that my son's mental illness is drug addiction, depression and anxiety. He has no diagnosis beyond that, that I know of, and he functions in the world pretty well. When he wants to. </p><p></p><p>Your son may be different, but this is a common manipulation tactic when parents like us say No. </p><p></p><p>You are well, very, very well, within your right to say no to your son, Marie. It's time. It will be hard to keep saying no, and you will need to do a lot of work on yourself.</p><p></p><p>Start assembling your toolbox, if you are really ready, and start using your tools every single day. Spend at least 30 minutes a day on yourself in prayer, meditation, reading this forum, reading books, therapy, writing in a journal, exercise, going to Al-Anon meetings, etc. These are all tools. The more you use your tools, the healthier you will become, and you will find the strength, patience, courage and fortitude you need to change the dynamic between yourself and your son.</p><p></p><p>He may not change, but you will. And that is enough, Marie. Warm hugs and we are glad you are here!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 637838, member: 17542"] Marie, my son is 25 and he has threatened suicide multiple times. I don't believe he ever had any intention of killing himself, but I reacted to his threats multiple times, which taught him that threatening suicide would get me to act on his behalf. Finally, I realized what was going on. It still scared me, because you never know what someone will do, but I also learned and realized that like every other thing about him, I couldn't control this either. That if he wants to kill himself, he will. And there is nothing I can do to stop it. I have come to terms with that fact. I began telling him that I would call the police every single time he threatened suicide, and of course, he called my bluff. I called the police the next time he did it, and as a result he spent a week in a psychiatric hospital. He didn't like that. The last time he threatened suicide, I was nearby, so I drove to where he was and I got in his face, and I reiterated the fact that I would call the police right now. He backed off, and it hasn't happened again. Now, I want to be clear that my son's mental illness is drug addiction, depression and anxiety. He has no diagnosis beyond that, that I know of, and he functions in the world pretty well. When he wants to. Your son may be different, but this is a common manipulation tactic when parents like us say No. You are well, very, very well, within your right to say no to your son, Marie. It's time. It will be hard to keep saying no, and you will need to do a lot of work on yourself. Start assembling your toolbox, if you are really ready, and start using your tools every single day. Spend at least 30 minutes a day on yourself in prayer, meditation, reading this forum, reading books, therapy, writing in a journal, exercise, going to Al-Anon meetings, etc. These are all tools. The more you use your tools, the healthier you will become, and you will find the strength, patience, courage and fortitude you need to change the dynamic between yourself and your son. He may not change, but you will. And that is enough, Marie. Warm hugs and we are glad you are here! [/QUOTE]
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