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7yr old thinks we hate him
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 435966" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>You know what? So am I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When it comes to housework, I am still a difficult child. I struggle with it every day. BFF and I call it amoeba vs paramecium. Amoebas are free flowing, paramecium have a distinct shape. We are both amoebas, but she likes to make her days paramecium-like to benefit her kids - makes it easier for her as well. </p><p></p><p>Way back when son was first born, the words routine and schedule would actually send shivers down my spine. After giving it much thought, I realized that while very loose, I did have a routine/schedule. Get up, feed child, change child, drive husband to work, then go to grocery or home. Chill time until child needed to eat again - about 11-12.......etc If someone had to take ver for me at a moment's ntice, I could give them an outine of my day. There was a lot of 'unstructured' time that they would have to fill in, but is was a schedule.</p><p></p><p>Since setting up structured routines is difficult for you, get him involved. What does he like about school? How can we set up home more like school? Give him the freedom to set up his own privileges and responsibilities, and then tweak it with him to something that might work for the whole house. (this does not mean that everyone must follow these rules, but that they don't intrude too much on anybody else's 'routines'.)</p><p></p><p>It was about age 7 that son set up our eating schedule. We had a loose one, but he defined it by times. Son got breakfast, morning snack and lunch at school, but on non school days, the times for these would get muddled up, so we created a schedule we could follow that mimicked the school schedule. It really was a saving grace because DD1 was 2 1/2 at the time and constantly asking for something different to eat at different times. I had lost complete control of her "schedule" 8 years later, we still follow it. The first therapist we worked with would come to our house for sessions, and we had to work the sessions around school release time and dinner time. Early on she made a comment that "Mom needed to relax her schedule a bit" I so LOLed at her, but didn't say anything else. After a few weeks with us, she realized that Mom was WAY to relaxed, and the kids were just demanding a healthy and sound schedule. As Mom, it's my job to enforce it. These days it is getting more relaxed, but if eating gets out of hand (usually too much snacking) we go right back to it. YES, it is VERY difficult for me still, but the chaos of no schedule is even more difficult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 435966, member: 11965"] You know what? So am I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When it comes to housework, I am still a difficult child. I struggle with it every day. BFF and I call it amoeba vs paramecium. Amoebas are free flowing, paramecium have a distinct shape. We are both amoebas, but she likes to make her days paramecium-like to benefit her kids - makes it easier for her as well. Way back when son was first born, the words routine and schedule would actually send shivers down my spine. After giving it much thought, I realized that while very loose, I did have a routine/schedule. Get up, feed child, change child, drive husband to work, then go to grocery or home. Chill time until child needed to eat again - about 11-12.......etc If someone had to take ver for me at a moment's ntice, I could give them an outine of my day. There was a lot of 'unstructured' time that they would have to fill in, but is was a schedule. Since setting up structured routines is difficult for you, get him involved. What does he like about school? How can we set up home more like school? Give him the freedom to set up his own privileges and responsibilities, and then tweak it with him to something that might work for the whole house. (this does not mean that everyone must follow these rules, but that they don't intrude too much on anybody else's 'routines'.) It was about age 7 that son set up our eating schedule. We had a loose one, but he defined it by times. Son got breakfast, morning snack and lunch at school, but on non school days, the times for these would get muddled up, so we created a schedule we could follow that mimicked the school schedule. It really was a saving grace because DD1 was 2 1/2 at the time and constantly asking for something different to eat at different times. I had lost complete control of her "schedule" 8 years later, we still follow it. The first therapist we worked with would come to our house for sessions, and we had to work the sessions around school release time and dinner time. Early on she made a comment that "Mom needed to relax her schedule a bit" I so LOLed at her, but didn't say anything else. After a few weeks with us, she realized that Mom was WAY to relaxed, and the kids were just demanding a healthy and sound schedule. As Mom, it's my job to enforce it. These days it is getting more relaxed, but if eating gets out of hand (usually too much snacking) we go right back to it. YES, it is VERY difficult for me still, but the chaos of no schedule is even more difficult. [/QUOTE]
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