Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
A big loud momma VENT!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Mikey" data-source="post: 121877" data-attributes="member: 3579"><p>Hi EW. I'm new to PE, but I've been hanging out (maybe "infamous? <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/devil2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":devil2:" title="devil2 :devil2:" data-shortname=":devil2:" />) over in TaSA.</p><p></p><p>I can sympathize with your "be an adult - act like an adult" stance, and can only imagine how much it must hurt you. We, well, "I", am starting to get to the same point with my own son.</p><p></p><p>I haven't been able to emancipate us, er, him - yet, but if he keeps his jive turkey act going, it won't be long before wife backs me up and he walks. It will be hard, and it will hurt. But at this point in his life, I can't do anything for him that he doesn't want done, and I can't do for him what he won't do for himself. </p><p></p><p>Seems you've reached that point with your own daughter as well. And if she's NOT your difficult child, it must be like a bolt out of the blue when you weren't looking. Yikes! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/wornout.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":wornout:" title="wornout :wornout:" data-shortname=":wornout:" /> </p><p></p><p>Like your daughter, It's time for McWeedy to meet the "real world". And it scares me. But I'm more scared of him growing up into a thirty-something pothead with no real life. Beyond that, we've had some family scares in the last few months that got me to thinking what would happen to the WeedWhacker if he suddenly lost both me and his mom.</p><p></p><p>Open sea, no life preserver, bad storm, fallen overboard, you get the picture.</p><p></p><p>I'd rather see him on his own and struggling - and maybe learning - while I can still help him when he finally, truly, wants it. If I had my way, I'd invite him to start living his dream life of freedom from us tomorrow. I'd be sick to my stomach - but I'd never let him know. All kids are different, but any sign of weakness on our part is an invitation to McW to sneak in and twist our emotions until he tortures one or the both of us into giving in. So I wouldn't give him the chance. If he knew it hurt us, he'd just wait us out, and maybe throw in a little "living in squalor" just to make it worse for us before we caved.</p><p></p><p>But that's just me. And us. </p><p></p><p>I can't in good faith offer any advice, since I'm still trying to go where you have already gone. But I hope that when that day comes, I can keep my wits about me, realize that I have a life, too, and that it's worth living. And that the greatest gift I can give McWeedy is the gift of learning his lessons the hard way. I didn't do that earlier in his life, and now we're both paying for it.</p><p></p><p>If that time comes, I'll let him go and find his way, with only the thinnest dental-floss of a lifeline back home, preferrably tied to his ankle where he doesn't know it's there.</p><p></p><p>And it will hurt. I know that, so I can only imagine that you are hurting now. But, as the resident armchair quarterback, I think you're doing the right thing. Take heart in the fact that you cannot teach her what she will not learn from you, but you can provide her the chance to learn what's important (even if she doesn't want to). Let her know you love her, and will support any good decisions she makes, but will let her reap the benefits/consequences of choices you don't agree with. And accept that this is not only good for her, but is also good for you.</p><p></p><p>Sorry if I sound "preachy", but I offer what little I have with an open heart. I hope and pray that you find some peace and solice in the decisions you've made.</p><p></p><p>Mikey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mikey, post: 121877, member: 3579"] Hi EW. I'm new to PE, but I've been hanging out (maybe "infamous? :devil2:) over in TaSA. I can sympathize with your "be an adult - act like an adult" stance, and can only imagine how much it must hurt you. We, well, "I", am starting to get to the same point with my own son. I haven't been able to emancipate us, er, him - yet, but if he keeps his jive turkey act going, it won't be long before wife backs me up and he walks. It will be hard, and it will hurt. But at this point in his life, I can't do anything for him that he doesn't want done, and I can't do for him what he won't do for himself. Seems you've reached that point with your own daughter as well. And if she's NOT your difficult child, it must be like a bolt out of the blue when you weren't looking. Yikes! :wornout: Like your daughter, It's time for McWeedy to meet the "real world". And it scares me. But I'm more scared of him growing up into a thirty-something pothead with no real life. Beyond that, we've had some family scares in the last few months that got me to thinking what would happen to the WeedWhacker if he suddenly lost both me and his mom. Open sea, no life preserver, bad storm, fallen overboard, you get the picture. I'd rather see him on his own and struggling - and maybe learning - while I can still help him when he finally, truly, wants it. If I had my way, I'd invite him to start living his dream life of freedom from us tomorrow. I'd be sick to my stomach - but I'd never let him know. All kids are different, but any sign of weakness on our part is an invitation to McW to sneak in and twist our emotions until he tortures one or the both of us into giving in. So I wouldn't give him the chance. If he knew it hurt us, he'd just wait us out, and maybe throw in a little "living in squalor" just to make it worse for us before we caved. But that's just me. And us. I can't in good faith offer any advice, since I'm still trying to go where you have already gone. But I hope that when that day comes, I can keep my wits about me, realize that I have a life, too, and that it's worth living. And that the greatest gift I can give McWeedy is the gift of learning his lessons the hard way. I didn't do that earlier in his life, and now we're both paying for it. If that time comes, I'll let him go and find his way, with only the thinnest dental-floss of a lifeline back home, preferrably tied to his ankle where he doesn't know it's there. And it will hurt. I know that, so I can only imagine that you are hurting now. But, as the resident armchair quarterback, I think you're doing the right thing. Take heart in the fact that you cannot teach her what she will not learn from you, but you can provide her the chance to learn what's important (even if she doesn't want to). Let her know you love her, and will support any good decisions she makes, but will let her reap the benefits/consequences of choices you don't agree with. And accept that this is not only good for her, but is also good for you. Sorry if I sound "preachy", but I offer what little I have with an open heart. I hope and pray that you find some peace and solice in the decisions you've made. Mikey [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
A big loud momma VENT!
Top