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A bit insulted by brother in law
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 250358" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Don't hold back too much, Linda. Just say it straight. YOu don't have to be rude or unpleasant about it, merely practical.</p><p></p><p>YOu never promised the laptops. And if he insists you did, then you can clearly say, "I don't recall promising. If I did, it was at a time when I was too distraught to be held accountable, there is no way I would have been thinking clearly. husband & I have children who need to be considered first, the tweedles are now both getting to that age when their school requirements will mean they get first options each on any laptops. We need time to work out what needs to be done."</p><p></p><p>As for the re-model - again, make it clear. "I never thought you would be doing the re-model, it's just not economically feasible for you to do it, with your travel times. You need to be getting work closer to where you live so you can be home in the evenings for your family, they need you. Besides, I need the work done with a sound paper trail, people doing the work MUST have their licenses scrutinised by the local authorities, or I could be made to rip it all out and do it again. I can't afford to do that. Thanks for the offer though, but I would rather see you earning money closer to your home."</p><p></p><p>If he insists or starts to get nasty, simply say, "No." Make it clear that you have been told that the work must be done by a licensed technician or the planning authorities will take you to court.</p><p></p><p>And if he continues to insist, tell him of your new axiom - "Never do business with family or friends, always keep it professional."</p><p></p><p>You are a grieving widow, so play dirty if you must - simply say, "It's still far too painful for me to think about things like this. I need more time..." and then when he's not looking over your shoulder, do what YOU want with the extra laptop, extra vehicle and the renovation. You are not in such a secure financial position that you can afford to give away free computers, free cars and allow an unlicensed family member free rein in your home, to do what HE wants when HE gets around to it. And probably still give you a bill that is not properly nailed down ahead of time.</p><p></p><p>No, this is a situation fraught with potential nastiness.</p><p></p><p>Don't feel guilty about refusing.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 250358, member: 1991"] Don't hold back too much, Linda. Just say it straight. YOu don't have to be rude or unpleasant about it, merely practical. YOu never promised the laptops. And if he insists you did, then you can clearly say, "I don't recall promising. If I did, it was at a time when I was too distraught to be held accountable, there is no way I would have been thinking clearly. husband & I have children who need to be considered first, the tweedles are now both getting to that age when their school requirements will mean they get first options each on any laptops. We need time to work out what needs to be done." As for the re-model - again, make it clear. "I never thought you would be doing the re-model, it's just not economically feasible for you to do it, with your travel times. You need to be getting work closer to where you live so you can be home in the evenings for your family, they need you. Besides, I need the work done with a sound paper trail, people doing the work MUST have their licenses scrutinised by the local authorities, or I could be made to rip it all out and do it again. I can't afford to do that. Thanks for the offer though, but I would rather see you earning money closer to your home." If he insists or starts to get nasty, simply say, "No." Make it clear that you have been told that the work must be done by a licensed technician or the planning authorities will take you to court. And if he continues to insist, tell him of your new axiom - "Never do business with family or friends, always keep it professional." You are a grieving widow, so play dirty if you must - simply say, "It's still far too painful for me to think about things like this. I need more time..." and then when he's not looking over your shoulder, do what YOU want with the extra laptop, extra vehicle and the renovation. You are not in such a secure financial position that you can afford to give away free computers, free cars and allow an unlicensed family member free rein in your home, to do what HE wants when HE gets around to it. And probably still give you a bill that is not properly nailed down ahead of time. No, this is a situation fraught with potential nastiness. Don't feel guilty about refusing. Marg [/QUOTE]
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A bit insulted by brother in law
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