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A bittersweet birthday
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 742698" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Oh Elsi, I am so sorry. I think I will see my son tomorrow and I am afraid of some of the same.</p><p></p><p>This is part that gives me hope:He knows. He really, really knows. He is able to see through your eyes. He wants to protect you. He knows that he is living is misery. This is what it will take for him to decide to change. Sober first requires sober eyes. With that statement he is seeing through sober eyes.</p><p>I feel shattered for you. What will I see tomorrow?</p><p>I feel so heartbroken for you. And for him.</p><p></p><p>We have to remember here. There are shelters. There are sober living homes. There is rehab. There is work.</p><p></p><p>But I understand and I relate to disappointment and crushing pain...that they choose what they do. I am so sorry.</p><p></p><p>On the new thread I did today somebody asked me if I was sure my son wanted to live. That if he kept ignoring that he had a disease that could kill him, that maybe he was indifferent to dying, and wanted to die. There was some discussion about what were my priorities. And I could not decide. Others were clear that first my son had to live. That I had to support him to live. I get so confused I don't know what way is up.</p><p></p><p>The thing is we don't know which way is up. Are they hitting bottom in order to make a base, so that they can turn things around one day at a time? We don't know. Your son with the baby, you did not know, before he made the change...that it would happen. We don't know.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry that this birthday was so heart wrenching. I could cry for you. But the tears won't come. I have to be strong for tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>He must have been so grateful and happy to see you and to be with you. What you represent to him is motherlode. You have given him that and he carries it inside of him. These men of ours are ridden with conflict and what feels to them to be self-loathing...but they know love. And they feel love. This is not a small thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 742698, member: 18958"] Oh Elsi, I am so sorry. I think I will see my son tomorrow and I am afraid of some of the same. This is part that gives me hope:He knows. He really, really knows. He is able to see through your eyes. He wants to protect you. He knows that he is living is misery. This is what it will take for him to decide to change. Sober first requires sober eyes. With that statement he is seeing through sober eyes. I feel shattered for you. What will I see tomorrow? I feel so heartbroken for you. And for him. We have to remember here. There are shelters. There are sober living homes. There is rehab. There is work. But I understand and I relate to disappointment and crushing pain...that they choose what they do. I am so sorry. On the new thread I did today somebody asked me if I was sure my son wanted to live. That if he kept ignoring that he had a disease that could kill him, that maybe he was indifferent to dying, and wanted to die. There was some discussion about what were my priorities. And I could not decide. Others were clear that first my son had to live. That I had to support him to live. I get so confused I don't know what way is up. The thing is we don't know which way is up. Are they hitting bottom in order to make a base, so that they can turn things around one day at a time? We don't know. Your son with the baby, you did not know, before he made the change...that it would happen. We don't know. I am sorry that this birthday was so heart wrenching. I could cry for you. But the tears won't come. I have to be strong for tomorrow. He must have been so grateful and happy to see you and to be with you. What you represent to him is motherlode. You have given him that and he carries it inside of him. These men of ours are ridden with conflict and what feels to them to be self-loathing...but they know love. And they feel love. This is not a small thing. [/QUOTE]
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A bittersweet birthday
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