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The Watercooler
A Brand New Tactic - ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 375601" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>That's right- and as Shari touched on, I struggle with this sometimes, too. But still, I think it sometimes takes a little time even to forgive.</p><p></p><p>The parallels between the dysfunction in our families amazes me even though some of the details play out differently. Remember though- that twisting of words and havbing double standards and pat answers that don't even fit the point you were discussing is all part of the dysfunction. And I agree about M having to make her own choices. This happened in my family as well and that is why I am estranged from all of them at this point. I used to blame myself but when I realized that they were still believing everything my mother said, going along with everything she wanted, and they all grew up in the same dysfunction but have not done anything to be aware of it much less change it, I now think it's probably the only thing that can be expected. They don't want to be torn between my mother and me, understably, so I don't push it and just quit contacting them. And they did the same.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 375601, member: 3699"] That's right- and as Shari touched on, I struggle with this sometimes, too. But still, I think it sometimes takes a little time even to forgive. The parallels between the dysfunction in our families amazes me even though some of the details play out differently. Remember though- that twisting of words and havbing double standards and pat answers that don't even fit the point you were discussing is all part of the dysfunction. And I agree about M having to make her own choices. This happened in my family as well and that is why I am estranged from all of them at this point. I used to blame myself but when I realized that they were still believing everything my mother said, going along with everything she wanted, and they all grew up in the same dysfunction but have not done anything to be aware of it much less change it, I now think it's probably the only thing that can be expected. They don't want to be torn between my mother and me, understably, so I don't push it and just quit contacting them. And they did the same. [/QUOTE]
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A Brand New Tactic - ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
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