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General Parenting
A Chaotic Start to 2013
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 571786" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I found after prozac built up for q it increase his quick reactions and made him dig in more. It was much better when we d/c'd it. That's one thought. The other? I can't set up major consequences like that with no "out" Q will see no other solution. He has never learned from it when I stick it out. (One year he lost what ended up as months of NASCAR watching. He still talks about it-from years ago-but it didn't improve anything. It didn't address the underlying issues. )</p><p></p><p> At least for us, adding that stress makes things worse and ends up causing problems at school too while he is having anxiety about it. </p><p>I try now, if backed into a corner where I have to consequence ....giving a to do list. You took my energy away so now you need to gather all the laundry and empty the dishwasher. </p><p>If I can tie it with better logic to the event, and if I can help him learn skills to deal better I do but I get caught in the typical strategy of taking things away and then either know there will be violence just to stick to it, or I have to figure out how to let him know he can't fuss his way out of a consequence by heading it off saying I changed my mind. (Then the to do list, sometimes including a written apology and or writing a plan to do better with me)</p><p></p><p> These days I try to plan ahead....he knows what he has to do to get x, y,z. If he doesn't then he knows what needs to be done. It's never that easy though!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 571786, member: 12886"] I found after prozac built up for q it increase his quick reactions and made him dig in more. It was much better when we d/c'd it. That's one thought. The other? I can't set up major consequences like that with no "out" Q will see no other solution. He has never learned from it when I stick it out. (One year he lost what ended up as months of NASCAR watching. He still talks about it-from years ago-but it didn't improve anything. It didn't address the underlying issues. ) At least for us, adding that stress makes things worse and ends up causing problems at school too while he is having anxiety about it. I try now, if backed into a corner where I have to consequence ....giving a to do list. You took my energy away so now you need to gather all the laundry and empty the dishwasher. If I can tie it with better logic to the event, and if I can help him learn skills to deal better I do but I get caught in the typical strategy of taking things away and then either know there will be violence just to stick to it, or I have to figure out how to let him know he can't fuss his way out of a consequence by heading it off saying I changed my mind. (Then the to do list, sometimes including a written apology and or writing a plan to do better with me) These days I try to plan ahead....he knows what he has to do to get x, y,z. If he doesn't then he knows what needs to be done. It's never that easy though! [/QUOTE]
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A Chaotic Start to 2013
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