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Parent Emeritus
A chilling conversation with-Matt
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 429950" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>He's so hurting inside, I'm so sorry he won't go to some sort of therapy. His negative "stinkin thinkin" is holding him back from so very much in his life, aside from the reaction others like you will have to his dark thoughts. How incredibly sad. I will send healing vibes his way for his spirit. </p><p></p><p>I think you're on the right path when thinking you know you can't fix him. A horrible realization but it is good when people realize they can't. That doesn't mean there aren't small things you can do to try to help, even without a magic cure or "fix". Acknowleding his negative thoughts by allowing him to express himself. But then when the opportunity presents itself, redirecting to better thinking so that he starts having some sort of dialogue about good things. Maybe talking more often about funny things you remember when he was growing up. Or "remember the day you did XYZ at school in X grade? Gosh you were so proud of that, it was adorable". Or memories of any good family get togethers, or special holidays. Sort of become "That Mom". You know, the moms who always look back at the good stuff and filter out the bad and always want to reminesce? Plant a seed of good memories in him and hope that it takes root a bit and starts to at least balance his negative thinking and hopefully one day the good thoughts can outweigh the bad? Also, when he does something to be proud of, however small, subtle ways of hamming that up to make him feel good without realizing your reasons behind it. So he can start finding good in himself. </p><p></p><p>These aren't fixes, but we don't have fixes for our mentally ill loved ones do we? Oh that we did! I'd love to fix my mother. I know I can't. I do hope you can find some people too. We all want so much for our kids and for them as they become adults. I know it hurts your heart. (((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 429950, member: 4264"] He's so hurting inside, I'm so sorry he won't go to some sort of therapy. His negative "stinkin thinkin" is holding him back from so very much in his life, aside from the reaction others like you will have to his dark thoughts. How incredibly sad. I will send healing vibes his way for his spirit. I think you're on the right path when thinking you know you can't fix him. A horrible realization but it is good when people realize they can't. That doesn't mean there aren't small things you can do to try to help, even without a magic cure or "fix". Acknowleding his negative thoughts by allowing him to express himself. But then when the opportunity presents itself, redirecting to better thinking so that he starts having some sort of dialogue about good things. Maybe talking more often about funny things you remember when he was growing up. Or "remember the day you did XYZ at school in X grade? Gosh you were so proud of that, it was adorable". Or memories of any good family get togethers, or special holidays. Sort of become "That Mom". You know, the moms who always look back at the good stuff and filter out the bad and always want to reminesce? Plant a seed of good memories in him and hope that it takes root a bit and starts to at least balance his negative thinking and hopefully one day the good thoughts can outweigh the bad? Also, when he does something to be proud of, however small, subtle ways of hamming that up to make him feel good without realizing your reasons behind it. So he can start finding good in himself. These aren't fixes, but we don't have fixes for our mentally ill loved ones do we? Oh that we did! I'd love to fix my mother. I know I can't. I do hope you can find some people too. We all want so much for our kids and for them as they become adults. I know it hurts your heart. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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A chilling conversation with-Matt
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