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General Parenting
A disregarded cry for help
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 400434" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Several things scream at me here.</p><p></p><p>1) What is the payoff sister in law & brother in law are getting from all this fostering? Is there any way they could get the same payoff by focussing on their own kids for a wile? Maybe take a break from fostering for say, three years, while they let their own kids have some attention and finish growing up?</p><p></p><p>2) Is there a chance these current foster have abused/are abusing the natural kids?</p><p></p><p>3) What would happen if the daughter who mimed the phone, actually made an appointment with her parents to discuss her concerns? Why has the daughter not done this? And what would happen if you and your husband facilitated this? </p><p></p><p>Your sister in law & brother in law remind me of people who go jogging several times a day as part of a keep fit regime. Laudable, healthy, sensible - but hang on, it is beginning to look a tad excessive. Is this really to keep fit, or is there mostly the endorphin payoff behind this?</p><p></p><p>Some people are emotional endorphin junkies. In fact, I have to attend a meeting tonight with a woman who is like this - in her case, she thrives on crisis, and resolving crisis. s a result she often creates crisis in order to be able to fix it. It also means other people get blames for crises that either do not exist or are minor, or of her own making. All because at some level, she needs to feel like she's the hero.</p><p></p><p>I think your brother in law & sister in law need to be heroes. And they're not getting enough of this parenting their own kids. Very sad.</p><p></p><p>Mind you, a site like this would be a godsend to them. And we would soon sort them out regarding their own kids' needs!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 400434, member: 1991"] Several things scream at me here. 1) What is the payoff sister in law & brother in law are getting from all this fostering? Is there any way they could get the same payoff by focussing on their own kids for a wile? Maybe take a break from fostering for say, three years, while they let their own kids have some attention and finish growing up? 2) Is there a chance these current foster have abused/are abusing the natural kids? 3) What would happen if the daughter who mimed the phone, actually made an appointment with her parents to discuss her concerns? Why has the daughter not done this? And what would happen if you and your husband facilitated this? Your sister in law & brother in law remind me of people who go jogging several times a day as part of a keep fit regime. Laudable, healthy, sensible - but hang on, it is beginning to look a tad excessive. Is this really to keep fit, or is there mostly the endorphin payoff behind this? Some people are emotional endorphin junkies. In fact, I have to attend a meeting tonight with a woman who is like this - in her case, she thrives on crisis, and resolving crisis. s a result she often creates crisis in order to be able to fix it. It also means other people get blames for crises that either do not exist or are minor, or of her own making. All because at some level, she needs to feel like she's the hero. I think your brother in law & sister in law need to be heroes. And they're not getting enough of this parenting their own kids. Very sad. Mind you, a site like this would be a godsend to them. And we would soon sort them out regarding their own kids' needs! Marg [/QUOTE]
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