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A disregarded cry for help
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<blockquote data-quote="TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow" data-source="post: 400439" data-attributes="member: 8405"><p>Thanks for the thoughtful feedback SusieStar! Technically speaking the kids are all well cared for... good grades, clean clothes, full tummies etc etc etc. </p><p></p><p>The level of trauma the current foster kids have seem to need more focused attention. They are getting lots of focused attention... and the bio-kids do get some attention... and other times have their heads in video games and computers most of the time... which is kinda-sorta-age appropriate... not necessarily best... but common for kids their age in today's society. Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>Mom and Dad... aunts and uncles were all around the table when my niece made her proclamation. Her parents heard it loud and clear. They said nothing.</p><p></p><p>A few days later I mentioned to sister in law my concern about her daughter's valid outcry. I encouraged her to hear and validate her children's opinion regarding the family effort to improve the lives of kids through foster care. I forget what exactly her response was, but basically she blew it off. </p><p></p><p>The fosters do have a history of molestation they are a few years younger than my nephews but close to them in height. The girls do look much older than they are. </p><p></p><p>The fosters see psychiatrist regularly. sister in law goes in first to give psychiatrist update then fosters have their visit. I don't believe bio's are involved in counseling.</p><p></p><p>The littlest one has the biggest issues... she has the most amazing smile/sparkling eyes combination... and when new-and/or-gullible people are not present the littlest one rages and kicks and screams and growls like an animal!!! I NEVER would have believed it if I didn't witness it with my own eyes!!!!!! The middle child (sooo heavily medicated at first) would be the first to appear to most people to have issues... but her issues are nothing compared to the littlest one!!! </p><p></p><p>To be fair...</p><p>We were there during the holidays. Busy/stressful time for even "normal" families. </p><p>Understandable</p><p>sister in law said fosters were exceptionally out-of-sorts during our first visit because bio-mom was a no/show for that week's visitation (Christmas fast approaching). </p><p>Understandable. </p><p>Next time we were over (still holiday season) foster girls' bio-mom SAID she was getting an apartment and SAID they'd ALL (8 kids in all) be moving in together SOON. (Meanwhile sister in law says foster system is working toward terminating parental rights) Kids were extraordinarily out of sorts!!!</p><p>Understandable. </p><p></p><p>I do think the best kind of foster placement for those kids, especially the youngest of the three, would be a therapeutic foster home... possibly separating the youngest of the three from the other two girls. There are younger/and older siblings spread out in other foster homes. </p><p></p><p>I think the best course of action is to encourage my niece to keep talking about her feelings first and foremost with her parents... writing letters to them if she's feeling unheard, maybe even asking for occasional counseling sessions for herself and encouraging her to speak with trusted teachers counselors at school if it ever becomes too much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow, post: 400439, member: 8405"] Thanks for the thoughtful feedback SusieStar! Technically speaking the kids are all well cared for... good grades, clean clothes, full tummies etc etc etc. The level of trauma the current foster kids have seem to need more focused attention. They are getting lots of focused attention... and the bio-kids do get some attention... and other times have their heads in video games and computers most of the time... which is kinda-sorta-age appropriate... not necessarily best... but common for kids their age in today's society. Know what I mean?? Mom and Dad... aunts and uncles were all around the table when my niece made her proclamation. Her parents heard it loud and clear. They said nothing. A few days later I mentioned to sister in law my concern about her daughter's valid outcry. I encouraged her to hear and validate her children's opinion regarding the family effort to improve the lives of kids through foster care. I forget what exactly her response was, but basically she blew it off. The fosters do have a history of molestation they are a few years younger than my nephews but close to them in height. The girls do look much older than they are. The fosters see psychiatrist regularly. sister in law goes in first to give psychiatrist update then fosters have their visit. I don't believe bio's are involved in counseling. The littlest one has the biggest issues... she has the most amazing smile/sparkling eyes combination... and when new-and/or-gullible people are not present the littlest one rages and kicks and screams and growls like an animal!!! I NEVER would have believed it if I didn't witness it with my own eyes!!!!!! The middle child (sooo heavily medicated at first) would be the first to appear to most people to have issues... but her issues are nothing compared to the littlest one!!! To be fair... We were there during the holidays. Busy/stressful time for even "normal" families. Understandable sister in law said fosters were exceptionally out-of-sorts during our first visit because bio-mom was a no/show for that week's visitation (Christmas fast approaching). Understandable. Next time we were over (still holiday season) foster girls' bio-mom SAID she was getting an apartment and SAID they'd ALL (8 kids in all) be moving in together SOON. (Meanwhile sister in law says foster system is working toward terminating parental rights) Kids were extraordinarily out of sorts!!! Understandable. I do think the best kind of foster placement for those kids, especially the youngest of the three, would be a therapeutic foster home... possibly separating the youngest of the three from the other two girls. There are younger/and older siblings spread out in other foster homes. I think the best course of action is to encourage my niece to keep talking about her feelings first and foremost with her parents... writing letters to them if she's feeling unheard, maybe even asking for occasional counseling sessions for herself and encouraging her to speak with trusted teachers counselors at school if it ever becomes too much. [/QUOTE]
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