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A few humors to cheer us
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 250462" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.</p><p>One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped</p><p>up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.</p><p>Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!"</p><p>They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad confessed. </p><p>His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor.</p><p> </p><p>@@@@@@@@@</p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">"What've you got in your truck?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">*****************</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' Mother's name?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">One child answered, "Mary."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' Father's name was?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Another child said, "The Verge."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">The little one said, "Well, you know they are always talking about The Verge 'n' Mary."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'">$$$$$$$</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-size: 10px">Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"</span> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">############</span></span></p><p>One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.</p><p>Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, </p><p>"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"</p><p>"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"</p><p>He yelled back, "University of Auburn."</p><p>And they say blondes are dumb!!!</p><p>%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 250462, member: 4964"] My Parents had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked. Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!" They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad confessed. His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor. @@@@@@@@@ [FONT=Comic Sans MS]A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]*****************[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' Mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary." The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' Father's name was?" Another child said, "The Verge." Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?" The little one said, "Well, you know they are always talking about The Verge 'n' Mary."[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS]$$$$$$$[/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][SIZE=2]Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"[/SIZE] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]############[/SIZE][/FONT] One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Auburn." And they say blondes are dumb!!! %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% [/QUOTE]
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