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A fight I really didn't expect at church
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 463806" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Liahona, despite the problems I described, our church has had some difficult people in the past. If possible, it is a church designed to help difficult children. At least, it was in its early days. And we still get some people coming along who have a lot of problems. It takes a lot of effort sometimes to love them as we should. And because other people have their own history (like my friend with the former abusive husband) it colours their behaviour.</p><p></p><p>The funny thing for us now - it was knowledge and understanding of difficult child 3 (eventually) that led one of the longest-term congregation members here, to get himself diagnosed Aspie. Last year, at the age of 60. He now seeks us out and talks to us, he knows we will accept him and understand. He has found his own niche in our church, his own functions and cannot cope if it deviates from this too much. But he now understands this about himself. Yesterday's service was, ironically, challenging for him because the assigned service leader had forgotten and instead gone to the airport. So we were ad-libbing (and I think it worked well) and our Aspie friend was struggling with the apparent anarchy of it. Snuggling around the fireplace (some of the ladies fetched blankets and snuggled under those on the sofa) added to the relaxed feel.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 stayed home as usual. Not because he feels excluded, but because he has difficulty understanding what it is all about. But we have other church functions, dinners, picnics, etc. Always have lunch after church, always coffee and tea. Saturday night there was a memorial service (we should have known about it but somehow the news missed us) for the grandson of a church member who was taken by a shark on the other side of the country. They lit tea lights and floated them out to sea for him. I collected up some of the tea lights that were also lit on the sea wall and I will use them in the next annual candle I make. </p><p></p><p>Wherever, whoever and however you worship, it needs to be done with love and compassion. Flexibility is good too. But the funny thing seems to be - the more flexible your church is, the more difficult children you attract! And the better you get as a group, in helping them.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 463806, member: 1991"] Liahona, despite the problems I described, our church has had some difficult people in the past. If possible, it is a church designed to help difficult children. At least, it was in its early days. And we still get some people coming along who have a lot of problems. It takes a lot of effort sometimes to love them as we should. And because other people have their own history (like my friend with the former abusive husband) it colours their behaviour. The funny thing for us now - it was knowledge and understanding of difficult child 3 (eventually) that led one of the longest-term congregation members here, to get himself diagnosed Aspie. Last year, at the age of 60. He now seeks us out and talks to us, he knows we will accept him and understand. He has found his own niche in our church, his own functions and cannot cope if it deviates from this too much. But he now understands this about himself. Yesterday's service was, ironically, challenging for him because the assigned service leader had forgotten and instead gone to the airport. So we were ad-libbing (and I think it worked well) and our Aspie friend was struggling with the apparent anarchy of it. Snuggling around the fireplace (some of the ladies fetched blankets and snuggled under those on the sofa) added to the relaxed feel. difficult child 3 stayed home as usual. Not because he feels excluded, but because he has difficulty understanding what it is all about. But we have other church functions, dinners, picnics, etc. Always have lunch after church, always coffee and tea. Saturday night there was a memorial service (we should have known about it but somehow the news missed us) for the grandson of a church member who was taken by a shark on the other side of the country. They lit tea lights and floated them out to sea for him. I collected up some of the tea lights that were also lit on the sea wall and I will use them in the next annual candle I make. Wherever, whoever and however you worship, it needs to be done with love and compassion. Flexibility is good too. But the funny thing seems to be - the more flexible your church is, the more difficult children you attract! And the better you get as a group, in helping them. Marg [/QUOTE]
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A fight I really didn't expect at church
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