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A gripe - difficult child's grandmother irks me today
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 376633" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Thanks for commiserating with me gals ... Im still feeling irked. Especially because difficult child came out of his room again to vent a bit to me. He's really upset at this, because grandmother has pulled plenty a stunt to "control" him over the years. Due to her **** like this, their relationship went for one of being very very close, to very very distant. And the more she does this, the further apart they grow. And the more difficult child has to tell grandmother himself that she is the cause of the problem. He has spelled out for her over and over that she needs not bribe him, just be a grandma. Not with money spent on him (she spent years spoiling him to where I wanted to scream) in order to "buy" his affection. She got angry when he stopped being woo'ed as he got older, by her mad shopping sprees for pricey gifts. He started asking for a relationship based on mutual enjoyment of one another, not "stuff". He was uncomfortable that his cousins don't get treated like he was, they would be so hurt and he asked to get normal gifts like they did to be fair. Anyhow, she went years without sending him anything (Well always there is a birthday card in the mail which difficult child always looks for the morning of my birthday, he likes those). Then one Christmas she invited him for dinner and to get some gifts she bought him. The tree was packed with gifts (again) and then she told him he could have 2 every time he comes over to her place. They were all clothes, which he loves, but he felt weird about getting spoiled once again beyond anything near what his cousins got from grandma. And he didn't like the manipulation again regarding visits in order to "get stuff". He told her she should return the rest of the presents because he wanted to be invited to visit just to visit, and if she got him gifts it shouldn't be a "tool" for her, THEN he would enjoy getting something for holidays. She never called again till the following Christmas. No gifts, he was happy as a clam to visit her and told me he was happy she got him nothing, just a nice visit. He started visiting her more. And lately she's back to her old game playing.</p><p></p><p>This woman peeves me off to no end. She just doesn't want to get who my difficult child is. And what he wants from her, which is just her, Know what I mean?? He misses the relationship they had. But he is far too "Grown" to be played, and he's wanting something "normal" in their bond again. </p><p></p><p>*sigh* be an interesting week around here!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 376633, member: 4264"] Thanks for commiserating with me gals ... Im still feeling irked. Especially because difficult child came out of his room again to vent a bit to me. He's really upset at this, because grandmother has pulled plenty a stunt to "control" him over the years. Due to her **** like this, their relationship went for one of being very very close, to very very distant. And the more she does this, the further apart they grow. And the more difficult child has to tell grandmother himself that she is the cause of the problem. He has spelled out for her over and over that she needs not bribe him, just be a grandma. Not with money spent on him (she spent years spoiling him to where I wanted to scream) in order to "buy" his affection. She got angry when he stopped being woo'ed as he got older, by her mad shopping sprees for pricey gifts. He started asking for a relationship based on mutual enjoyment of one another, not "stuff". He was uncomfortable that his cousins don't get treated like he was, they would be so hurt and he asked to get normal gifts like they did to be fair. Anyhow, she went years without sending him anything (Well always there is a birthday card in the mail which difficult child always looks for the morning of my birthday, he likes those). Then one Christmas she invited him for dinner and to get some gifts she bought him. The tree was packed with gifts (again) and then she told him he could have 2 every time he comes over to her place. They were all clothes, which he loves, but he felt weird about getting spoiled once again beyond anything near what his cousins got from grandma. And he didn't like the manipulation again regarding visits in order to "get stuff". He told her she should return the rest of the presents because he wanted to be invited to visit just to visit, and if she got him gifts it shouldn't be a "tool" for her, THEN he would enjoy getting something for holidays. She never called again till the following Christmas. No gifts, he was happy as a clam to visit her and told me he was happy she got him nothing, just a nice visit. He started visiting her more. And lately she's back to her old game playing. This woman peeves me off to no end. She just doesn't want to get who my difficult child is. And what he wants from her, which is just her, Know what I mean?? He misses the relationship they had. But he is far too "Grown" to be played, and he's wanting something "normal" in their bond again. *sigh* be an interesting week around here! [/QUOTE]
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