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A little bit of hope.
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 752626" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>You are a pillar of strength for this forum and I know you will and are working through this.</p><p></p><p>Here's a couple of things that I've learned so far on this long journey I'm on, which I'm not sure ever ends.</p><p></p><p>When we say, "I don't know what to do", it usually means we are afraid to make a choice. At a deeper level, we do not know what to do but we are afraid of making mistakes or what others will think if we carry out our own solutions.</p><p></p><p>I also found when we admit we may not know everything (surrender) we open the door to increased knowledge and solutions to our problems.</p><p></p><p>Of course, I don't know all the details of your life's goings on but from what I've read you have given your son yet another "tool" to succeed. Don't beat yourself up for having such a kind heart. It is so very, very hard to surrender. I don't think surrendering is a one time deal. At least not for me. I must do it over and over and over again. </p><p></p><p>Also, I try to be more aware of how my mind seeks anxiously for an answer or relief and for reassurance that the problems at hand will be extinguished. It hurts like a knife in my heart to see my sons not fulfill their potential. But I have to ask myself, are they? Maybe this is just the way God wants them to get to that point. If we all started out perfect what would be our goal? It's not what I want but I think it's what God wants and He definitely works in mysterious ways.</p><p></p><p>As well, as part of my surrender (NOT EASY) I say to myself, "What if I do not need the kind of answers that I assume I do?" I stick with that. I do nothing else and await the new solutions that will be revealed to me through my intuition and also by watching other's finally take a little responsibility for their lives. I realized I'm on one speed and that is "full speed ahead" whereas my sons appear to be in third gear (or no gear sometimes). It is hard pulling back and waiting for our loved ones to finally "get it" or at least begin to get it. That's really where I think our surrendering comes in. It doesn't mean we have to surrender our caring, loving concern and sometimes guidance too but it does mean, we have to let them figure this out in their own time.</p><p></p><p>As parents we just want our kids to get to the finish line when in reality there's a lot for them to be learned while getting there and for US too for that matter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 752626, member: 23405"] You are a pillar of strength for this forum and I know you will and are working through this. Here's a couple of things that I've learned so far on this long journey I'm on, which I'm not sure ever ends. When we say, "I don't know what to do", it usually means we are afraid to make a choice. At a deeper level, we do not know what to do but we are afraid of making mistakes or what others will think if we carry out our own solutions. I also found when we admit we may not know everything (surrender) we open the door to increased knowledge and solutions to our problems. Of course, I don't know all the details of your life's goings on but from what I've read you have given your son yet another "tool" to succeed. Don't beat yourself up for having such a kind heart. It is so very, very hard to surrender. I don't think surrendering is a one time deal. At least not for me. I must do it over and over and over again. Also, I try to be more aware of how my mind seeks anxiously for an answer or relief and for reassurance that the problems at hand will be extinguished. It hurts like a knife in my heart to see my sons not fulfill their potential. But I have to ask myself, are they? Maybe this is just the way God wants them to get to that point. If we all started out perfect what would be our goal? It's not what I want but I think it's what God wants and He definitely works in mysterious ways. As well, as part of my surrender (NOT EASY) I say to myself, "What if I do not need the kind of answers that I assume I do?" I stick with that. I do nothing else and await the new solutions that will be revealed to me through my intuition and also by watching other's finally take a little responsibility for their lives. I realized I'm on one speed and that is "full speed ahead" whereas my sons appear to be in third gear (or no gear sometimes). It is hard pulling back and waiting for our loved ones to finally "get it" or at least begin to get it. That's really where I think our surrendering comes in. It doesn't mean we have to surrender our caring, loving concern and sometimes guidance too but it does mean, we have to let them figure this out in their own time. As parents we just want our kids to get to the finish line when in reality there's a lot for them to be learned while getting there and for US too for that matter. [/QUOTE]
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