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A little bit of hope.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752729" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Nomad. What finally happened with your daughter and the condo?</p><p></p><p>Wise. Is your son still smoking pot at home? If no, how did that happen? If yes, how do you deal with it and think about it? Busy. I recognize that Kay has issues, like my son. The difference in our situation may be that you are stronger than me.</p><p></p><p>Heretofore, I am been unable to be done. I was for years, and then I accepted him back. And since that point we have been back and forth. For maybe 4 years. Him 6 months a few hours from here. And about 6 months here.</p><p></p><p>But the difference too might be that my son is not violent or abusive to me except for living the way he wants, disregarding responsibilities and continuing to inflict his dependency. I recognize that this too is on the spectrum of being abusive.</p><p></p><p>I think also is the influence of M. He is a recovering alcoholic, has a mentally ill brother (from sniffing) and a developmentally disabled brother (died), and had a child who at 16 was a runaway (over 20 years ago) who was never to be seen again. And he is Latin. I recognize that he has powerful psychological and life circumstances that prevail on him to act as he does. Like me. Like you.</p><p></p><p>And there has been some change by my son. With support and tight boundaries and continuing strong feedback, will it change enough to work out? Will this ultimately end where we wish it would not? In all likelihood, yes. I see the writing on the wall. But I don't know. Until this point, we are (still) willing to try. In this we are united. But the question is, will my son (try)? I think this is unknowable. But realistically speaking, most likely he will not.</p><p></p><p>The saying, leaving no stone unturned...comes to mind. So does what Plato wrote (I think it was Plato) about pushing the boulder up the hill over and over again. I will have to go look that up and see the moral of the story and what worked out. (I did. There's no moral of the story. It just is. It's the myth of Sisyphus.)</p><p></p><p>I think my religion says that everybody deserves the opportunity to stand on their own, to write their own life story. I think this is the truest thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752729, member: 18958"] Nomad. What finally happened with your daughter and the condo? Wise. Is your son still smoking pot at home? If no, how did that happen? If yes, how do you deal with it and think about it? Busy. I recognize that Kay has issues, like my son. The difference in our situation may be that you are stronger than me. Heretofore, I am been unable to be done. I was for years, and then I accepted him back. And since that point we have been back and forth. For maybe 4 years. Him 6 months a few hours from here. And about 6 months here. But the difference too might be that my son is not violent or abusive to me except for living the way he wants, disregarding responsibilities and continuing to inflict his dependency. I recognize that this too is on the spectrum of being abusive. I think also is the influence of M. He is a recovering alcoholic, has a mentally ill brother (from sniffing) and a developmentally disabled brother (died), and had a child who at 16 was a runaway (over 20 years ago) who was never to be seen again. And he is Latin. I recognize that he has powerful psychological and life circumstances that prevail on him to act as he does. Like me. Like you. And there has been some change by my son. With support and tight boundaries and continuing strong feedback, will it change enough to work out? Will this ultimately end where we wish it would not? In all likelihood, yes. I see the writing on the wall. But I don't know. Until this point, we are (still) willing to try. In this we are united. But the question is, will my son (try)? I think this is unknowable. But realistically speaking, most likely he will not. The saying, leaving no stone unturned...comes to mind. So does what Plato wrote (I think it was Plato) about pushing the boulder up the hill over and over again. I will have to go look that up and see the moral of the story and what worked out. (I did. There's no moral of the story. It just is. It's the myth of Sisyphus.) I think my religion says that everybody deserves the opportunity to stand on their own, to write their own life story. I think this is the truest thing. [/QUOTE]
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