A little update on us...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by hearts and roses, May 10, 2013.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    This may be a repeat for those of you who know me on FB.

    First, difficult child and E have postponed their wedding. difficult child had become manic and E still hadn't cleared up the visitation court stuff for his boys. It became apparent to H and me that difficult child was more into it for the show and not fully understanding what it means to be married. Not in a mean way, but I had to pull out of the wedding in terms of support. I told them that I believe they are a great match and that we loved them very much and when the time is right or, if they choose to go ahead anyway, we will be a part of it just not be as fully vested as we originally were. difficult child, in her then manic state, chose to pretend she never read my letter and sent a blanket email to all family stating that she and E had chosen to postpone their nuptuals until they had reached some personal goals. Honestly, I don't care whose idea it was, I'm just thankful that they have put it off. They live together and are happy...why rush? So, difficult child is no longer manic and I can see the downward spiral coming, but she is kinda sorta holding herself together. Unfortunately, she quit her job in the interim. Granted, the boss was a jerk to her and did some underhanded things, but it would have been better if she had at least found something else first.

    H and I are set to move upstairs to our new space this weekend and next! I'm so excited to finally do this already! After 7 freaking years, it's about time, right?? I bought beautiful curtains and drapes and have already put some things in the giant closet. Yay! H also built me some raised garden beds. I have three: two are 3'X6' and 6 inches high and one is 3'X6' and 12" high---perfect. I had compsoil delivered and they are ready for planting. Tomorrow H is taking me up to this amazing farm to buy all the goodies and then I can put them in. Another yay!!

    easy child is finishing up her semester and has changed her degree focus. She had been going for education as a Family Consumer Science major but has finally (I hope) decided on nutrition/dietician. She seems to love it, though she loves going to school...a true academic. She is still seeing her boyfriend, J, and they seem very happy and to have balance. They went away to northern Cali for a week and had a blast. I think she is taking another class over the summer at a local community college so she can finish sooner. I'm sure she would like to get that degree already.

    My mom is hanging in there at her nursing home. Her memory continues to decline, though her physical health seems to be holding for now. She is very obese and confined to her wheelchair so circulation is a concern. I don't go over as often as I used to, but I still see her and spend quility time with her about twice a week. With the nicer weather I am able to take her outside for some sunshine and Vit D!!!

    Nala, my sweet lovey cairn terrier will be 14 this year. She has three tumors, all on her right side. One is on her hip, another on the right side of her breast/side and another in the socket. So she is on NSAIDs and tramadol for inflammation and pain. It is apparent that this may be her last summer. I am not ready to let her go yet and, in fact, I am in denial over the entire thing. I just love this sweet love and will be out of my mind to lose her.

    I have been experiencing a lot of pain and inflammation for a little while now and although all the blood work came back negative, my Dr would like me to see a rheumatologist...I am not sure about any of it right now and don't really know what to do. I'd just like to stop feeling like barbed wire is growing from the inside of my bones and muscles. So, I've kicked my juicing into high gear and am considering giving up meats for a while to see if that helps. For now, it's just day by day.

    And lastly, mother in law has moved up here to CT. She signed a 6 month lease at a nearby senior retirement community. She has met a few other residents, helped out in the garden round back and has even taken the community van to the library. While she seems to be settling in okay, she had become increasingly paranoid and believes that people are coming into her apt when she is not there and when she is out on the balcony...she thinks they are listening to her conversations on the phone and spying on her...she thinks they want to know how much money she has so they can take advantage of her...and she even called the police and her insurance company and had her locks changed without our knowledge because she was certain her pearls and turqoise jewelry had been stolen. Two days later she found said jewelry in her underwear drawer, wrapped in a paper bag. Sigh. It has been very trying helping her settle in, but as long as I remember to set limits and carefully schedule the amount of time I spend with her, it's not so bad. She imposed on my alone time last weekend which really sent me over the edge...I will not allow that to happen again. She drives H crazy and I can see that some of her neighbors look at her a little oddly...because she is ODD. Hahahhaaa. There is a lot of stories I can tell you about the short time in which she has been here, but it would be a mile or two long! Suffice it to say, I have been drinking too much since she got here.

    So, that's the update...nothing too earth shattering as you can see, but wanted to say hello and catch up.
  2. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Thank you for the update Jo. Sounds pretty good and would love to have a laugh at your mother in law's antics. lol.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well, aside from your pain (what is that all about!?!?!) and Nala (poor baby!) things are sounding pretty good! Thanks for the update!
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    H&R does mother in law have macular degeration by any chance? A neighbor demonstrated symptoms similar to mother in law and instead of dementia onset it was/is the result of her vision problems. I posted about it maybe four or five months ago because I had never heard of it.......and, of course, I've forgotten the name. (Can't blame that brain burp on my eyes, LOL!)

    I am so happy that you are finally going to be able to enjoy your personal space. Chances are that will make every aspect of your life seem rosy. That's what I hope anyway. Hugs DDD
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Hmmmm, she does....and so does H! Omg, they can sooooo be like two peas in a pod! Yikes! I will research the connection! Thanks!
  6. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    Glad to "see" you, missed you, been thinking about you, never use FB, so I'm happy you posted here. Although, nothing too earth shattering, lots going on!! However, I think that it would take an awful lot of "gargage" for those of us with difficult children to find anything earth shattering any more. Love your attitude on your difficult child's postponed wedding plans, sorry your mother's memory is getting worse. It's good you're able to spend some quality time with her outside. I think fresh air, sunshine is good for just about everything. Love the way you're handling the situation with your mother in law. Wish we could have a few drinks together, share some "hallmark" (NOT!) family stories... Your mother in law reminds me of one of husband's aunts...

    I'm sorry to hear about Nala... It's really tough when our fur babies grow old. My favorite sanity saver is almost 12 now and is slowing down. Like you being in denial over Nala, I just can't even begin to think about what life will be like without my favorite sanity saver...

    Sorry to hear you're in so much pain. Hoping the dietary changes you're making help. I've been taking fish oil for awhile now and it seems to help decrease the inflammation, stiffness, especially in the mornings, and pain I have from arthritis.

    And, on a much better note, so happy to hear you're finally moving upstairs!! I bet your new space is absolutely gorgeous!! I bet the new garden is just beautiful, I love roses too!!

    Polished my toenails, waiting for the topcoat to dry. It's supposed to be a beautiful day, high reaching 80 and sunny. Big change from yesterday's cold temps and rain. Want to take my favorite sanity saver on a walk around the neighborhood and enjoy this beautiful weather while it lasts.

    Thanks again for the update. As always, it's nice hearing from you... SFR
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm not 100% sure but I think it is called "Bonnet Syndrome" or "Charles Bonnet Syndrome". A neighbor has the problem and her adult son caretaker found about it and was shocked that the Opthomologist said "that is quite common but we don't tell patients families about it because it scares them". Sigh. DDD
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Hi SFR, nice to hear from you as well! Enjoy your time with your sanity saver, I know I have been with mine. Nala is just this little tubular bundle of love. She is a little aloof and cranky with most people, but she pretty much allows me to love her up before giving me her warning growl. I know she's not feeling well because she even allows difficult child to hold her! Hahhahahaa.

    It is very difficult to keep up with all the supplements that help me...seems there are a lot. I am looking into changing up our menus so incorporate more of the foods required to gain benefits from those I need rather than popping a supplement everyday. I take a multi and also: Flax/Borage/Evening Primrose oil, acidopholus, Cal/Mag, turmeric, Vit C, Bee Pollen, and my regular medications (5)...that is a lot of pills. The joint pain and muscles aches/cramping have improved somewhat, but all my bloodwork came back negative so my Dr has referred me to a rheumatologist...something I am putting off for now as I'd like to see how I improve with diet. Also, my sister told me that the sulfites in wine can increase inflammation so I am going to lay off that for a bit as well. Here's hoping!

    DDD, I will definitely look into this...I am doubtful that H or his mom will listen to me anyway, but at least I can offer the information to them. It's been frustrating with H as one day he's on the same page as me and the next he's brooding. He's sooooo angry with his sister because he feels she should be doing more in terms of advocating for mother in law. I don't think he realizes that "tag"...he is it now. She lives here, near him, and so it's up to him. His sister may be the executrix of his mom's will etc., but he is technically the named POA which gives him the legal right to act on her behalf and be her voice when required. She has not asked any one to do anything for her yet, but I doubt she will. Like most people her age and in her position, giving up control is difficult.

    Thanks for your thoughts and have a great day!