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A little worried about easy child (20dd)
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 163719" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/redface.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":redface:" title="redface :redface:" data-shortname=":redface:" />I'm a good Aunti? THANKS!!!!!! </p><p> </p><p>Jo, </p><p> </p><p>It would be my advice that when you mention the counsleing you say something like a girlfriend may say - </p><p> </p><p>"Hey you remember when you said something about therapy for you and boyfriend? Well, you know if I wanted to fix a relationship but not let him know I was trying to fix it - I'd seek the help with a professional and then ask her/him how to get boyfriend to join -men are usually a little put off by therapy beacause they think they know it all - and while we let them think that - we're getting the best help we can. Maybe just go to a couples therapist and not say anything for a while until you see if you think he would like it or can work on a plan with him/her to get boyfriend to go."</p><p> </p><p>Something like that and NOT about HER. If you put the focus on her - she's going to FIGURE this out - if you keep the focus on THEM and this therapy is for THEM -she may be more apt to go. Say things like "I think if YOU went to a therapist you could really find SOLUTIONS to your relationship with boyfriend." She's looking in her mind for THE FIX - the SOLUTION - THE CURE And like I said once she gets to therapy (if she thinks she's going for THEM she may be okay with it at all) the therapist will work on HER - and help her - because well - HE isnt' there. If they start working on HER.....and she thinks it's for THEM maybe she'll stick with it and because she is SO smart - eventually she will figure out what YOU did - and thank you for it. </p><p> </p><p>See you and I both know that she does not need HIM at all. And the fact that he's hooking up on line with an X? OH puhlease - he's already doing the ground work for breaking up or ALLOWING himself permission to have an affair. He's telling you he's lonely? WHAT A MAN!! </p><p> </p><p>It's a recipe for disaster and no other ingredients have been added to the pot here to make it palatible. (like my chefy humor?) But .....I really would back off all the way on the IMPROVE YOURSELF. She's not worried about herself - she's perplexed on HOW TO MAKE HER RELATIONSHIP work. So approach her like you really are concerned and validate her thoughts on her 1/2 hearted comments of therapy for THEM. You notice she did NOT say "Mom I'm having relationship problems I need therapy." right???? She said THEY need therapy. So - suggest THEY go and knowing a MAN wont go tell her to go FIRST. Say nothing about HER alone - always THEM. </p><p> </p><p>Otherwise I think she'll shut ya out. ( I could be wrong it's your kid) </p><p> </p><p>And a "man" that would spank a puppy? Cripes for all his smarts he couldnt' get a book on HOUSETRAINING???? You NEVER spank a puppy. I think he needs spanked for hooking up with old girlfriends to get the "LOVING FEELING" going in his little Mr. Small Town Popular Guy head.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 163719, member: 4964"] :blushing2:I'm a good Aunti? THANKS!!!!!! Jo, It would be my advice that when you mention the counsleing you say something like a girlfriend may say - "Hey you remember when you said something about therapy for you and boyfriend? Well, you know if I wanted to fix a relationship but not let him know I was trying to fix it - I'd seek the help with a professional and then ask her/him how to get boyfriend to join -men are usually a little put off by therapy beacause they think they know it all - and while we let them think that - we're getting the best help we can. Maybe just go to a couples therapist and not say anything for a while until you see if you think he would like it or can work on a plan with him/her to get boyfriend to go." Something like that and NOT about HER. If you put the focus on her - she's going to FIGURE this out - if you keep the focus on THEM and this therapy is for THEM -she may be more apt to go. Say things like "I think if YOU went to a therapist you could really find SOLUTIONS to your relationship with boyfriend." She's looking in her mind for THE FIX - the SOLUTION - THE CURE And like I said once she gets to therapy (if she thinks she's going for THEM she may be okay with it at all) the therapist will work on HER - and help her - because well - HE isnt' there. If they start working on HER.....and she thinks it's for THEM maybe she'll stick with it and because she is SO smart - eventually she will figure out what YOU did - and thank you for it. See you and I both know that she does not need HIM at all. And the fact that he's hooking up on line with an X? OH puhlease - he's already doing the ground work for breaking up or ALLOWING himself permission to have an affair. He's telling you he's lonely? WHAT A MAN!! It's a recipe for disaster and no other ingredients have been added to the pot here to make it palatible. (like my chefy humor?) But .....I really would back off all the way on the IMPROVE YOURSELF. She's not worried about herself - she's perplexed on HOW TO MAKE HER RELATIONSHIP work. So approach her like you really are concerned and validate her thoughts on her 1/2 hearted comments of therapy for THEM. You notice she did NOT say "Mom I'm having relationship problems I need therapy." right???? She said THEY need therapy. So - suggest THEY go and knowing a MAN wont go tell her to go FIRST. Say nothing about HER alone - always THEM. Otherwise I think she'll shut ya out. ( I could be wrong it's your kid) And a "man" that would spank a puppy? Cripes for all his smarts he couldnt' get a book on HOUSETRAINING???? You NEVER spank a puppy. I think he needs spanked for hooking up with old girlfriends to get the "LOVING FEELING" going in his little Mr. Small Town Popular Guy head. [/QUOTE]
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A little worried about easy child (20dd)
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