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A Mom (with no kids...)
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<blockquote data-quote="Chasejazz" data-source="post: 750157" data-attributes="member: 24130"><p>Thanks for the advice. Actually, I started therapy a few years ago, after my divorce. I joined Planet Fitness to get out of the house and stay healthy. </p><p>I am hearing a resounding message that I have come to recognize as a truth. I do have abandonment issues, and sad to say, I think as the kids got older they played into that. </p><p>I also believe the DNA issue with my daughter IS very rascist on her part, since I could not have known my ethnic origins due to my adoption (assuming I DO have Black ancestry) and her bio father was born overseas, so it may well be on his family's side for all I know. But I say, who cares? Why is that such an issue? A deal breaker of life itself? I just don't know.</p><p>Also, you are both right. They are not children. They are very spoiled and selfish, entitled adults who became mean and calculating once we cut the purse strings, paid off their debts and told them that the door swings one way.</p><p>I am seeing my therapist this coming Wednesday. He suggested a long time back the same things that am hearing here...that I owe my kids nothing. That they would take and take as long as I kept giving and it was his opinion, that this was their only true connection to me and my ex.</p><p>As time has shown, he's right.</p><p>OB came by once, asking to shower, after living in his car for a month. He was upset that "his" room had been turned into a study. </p><p>Very little conversation.</p><p>I made him a quick meal before he left and haven't heard from him since. I assume he's okay. I pray he is, since he's never been homeless before. But I am so done with all of this.</p><p>Thanks to forums like this one, I can gain the perspective of other parents. I've been reading threads for a month now trying to get up the courage to write.</p><p>I am so tired of feeling judged and I believe, as was said, that we do our best with what we have to work with.</p><p>Taking care of *just me* is still fairly uncharted territory, but I'm hanging in there. Thanks for the responses.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chasejazz, post: 750157, member: 24130"] Thanks for the advice. Actually, I started therapy a few years ago, after my divorce. I joined Planet Fitness to get out of the house and stay healthy. I am hearing a resounding message that I have come to recognize as a truth. I do have abandonment issues, and sad to say, I think as the kids got older they played into that. I also believe the DNA issue with my daughter IS very rascist on her part, since I could not have known my ethnic origins due to my adoption (assuming I DO have Black ancestry) and her bio father was born overseas, so it may well be on his family's side for all I know. But I say, who cares? Why is that such an issue? A deal breaker of life itself? I just don't know. Also, you are both right. They are not children. They are very spoiled and selfish, entitled adults who became mean and calculating once we cut the purse strings, paid off their debts and told them that the door swings one way. I am seeing my therapist this coming Wednesday. He suggested a long time back the same things that am hearing here...that I owe my kids nothing. That they would take and take as long as I kept giving and it was his opinion, that this was their only true connection to me and my ex. As time has shown, he's right. OB came by once, asking to shower, after living in his car for a month. He was upset that "his" room had been turned into a study. Very little conversation. I made him a quick meal before he left and haven't heard from him since. I assume he's okay. I pray he is, since he's never been homeless before. But I am so done with all of this. Thanks to forums like this one, I can gain the perspective of other parents. I've been reading threads for a month now trying to get up the courage to write. I am so tired of feeling judged and I believe, as was said, that we do our best with what we have to work with. Taking care of *just me* is still fairly uncharted territory, but I'm hanging in there. Thanks for the responses. [/QUOTE]
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