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<blockquote data-quote="helpangel" data-source="post: 631367" data-attributes="member: 7170"><p>Welcome dalyce I'm glad you found us but sorry you needed to, I agree with many of the things MWM said. He's not a little boy anymore he's a grown man; I believe we are introduced to our children as cute cooing babies so that we don't take them out when they are rebellious teenagers... it's the memories of that sweet baby that puts a big hook into our hearts and keeps us stuck to them (and their welfare) like a fish at the end of the line. And as many of us here know they use that love we have for them to emotionally blackmail us into giving them what they want.</p><p></p><p>My oldest uses the abuse my girls father put him thru to tug at my heart strings, also the fact that he kept me alive thru the hardest time of my life to get me to allow him to live here, and the fact is without him I'm all alone in the world trying to manage these girls of mine.</p><p></p><p>My youngest who has been depressed since birth threatens suicide a couple times a week, when she threatens its her way of demanding attention. The couple times she has actually attempted it; I never saw it coming or suspected she was doing something so dangerous.</p><p></p><p>The 4 people I know who have done it same thing; no threats, no warnings, no writing in the sky to anyone to send help. This is not something you can try to handle on your own, you're too close to the situation and if you coddle him he won't get the help he needs. And he will keep upping the ante until possibly there could be a tragic accident.</p><p></p><p>Therapy and support for yourself is the first step, the only one you have control over is yourself. A counselor who can help you process and understand what he is doing will help you to not fall into the trap of reinforcing that behavior; they can also help you find good resources to direct your son to... whether he goes or not is his choice he is an adult. But it will show him that you love him enough to seek the help he needs.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for the pain in your heart that he is putting on you, I can't stop that pain just urge you to get help dealing with it in a productive manner. Coming here was a great start but you need the help of a trained professional in your geographical location to help you also.</p><p></p><p>sending hugs and positive energy your way, others will be along soon to assist you. </p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpangel, post: 631367, member: 7170"] Welcome dalyce I'm glad you found us but sorry you needed to, I agree with many of the things MWM said. He's not a little boy anymore he's a grown man; I believe we are introduced to our children as cute cooing babies so that we don't take them out when they are rebellious teenagers... it's the memories of that sweet baby that puts a big hook into our hearts and keeps us stuck to them (and their welfare) like a fish at the end of the line. And as many of us here know they use that love we have for them to emotionally blackmail us into giving them what they want. My oldest uses the abuse my girls father put him thru to tug at my heart strings, also the fact that he kept me alive thru the hardest time of my life to get me to allow him to live here, and the fact is without him I'm all alone in the world trying to manage these girls of mine. My youngest who has been depressed since birth threatens suicide a couple times a week, when she threatens its her way of demanding attention. The couple times she has actually attempted it; I never saw it coming or suspected she was doing something so dangerous. The 4 people I know who have done it same thing; no threats, no warnings, no writing in the sky to anyone to send help. This is not something you can try to handle on your own, you're too close to the situation and if you coddle him he won't get the help he needs. And he will keep upping the ante until possibly there could be a tragic accident. Therapy and support for yourself is the first step, the only one you have control over is yourself. A counselor who can help you process and understand what he is doing will help you to not fall into the trap of reinforcing that behavior; they can also help you find good resources to direct your son to... whether he goes or not is his choice he is an adult. But it will show him that you love him enough to seek the help he needs. I'm sorry for the pain in your heart that he is putting on you, I can't stop that pain just urge you to get help dealing with it in a productive manner. Coming here was a great start but you need the help of a trained professional in your geographical location to help you also. sending hugs and positive energy your way, others will be along soon to assist you. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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