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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 631407" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome Dalyce, I'm glad you found us.</p><p></p><p>Your story is so similar to so many of ours here. You are not alone. It is a very difficult experience to be on the sidelines while our grown kids implode and/or explode. But, at this point, it is his opportunity to change his life.............or not.</p><p></p><p>Now it's about YOU. You need to get support to be able to make these changes that become necessary for us to make. As everyone has said, stop the flow of money. Stop enabling him. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. You may want to join some 12 step groups and read the book Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie. </p><p></p><p>Do not allow your son to be abusive or disrespectful of you. Make strong boundaries around that kind of behavior. You do not deserve that. Limit the calls or block the texts or calls until he can behave appropriately towards you. </p><p></p><p>We all have to learn a new way to deal with our troubled and often manipulative and angry and abusive adult kids. It is a new rule book. You will likely need a lot of support to learn how to cope and to learn new ways to respond.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. We're here if you need us. You're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 631407, member: 13542"] Welcome Dalyce, I'm glad you found us. Your story is so similar to so many of ours here. You are not alone. It is a very difficult experience to be on the sidelines while our grown kids implode and/or explode. But, at this point, it is his opportunity to change his life.............or not. Now it's about YOU. You need to get support to be able to make these changes that become necessary for us to make. As everyone has said, stop the flow of money. Stop enabling him. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. You may want to join some 12 step groups and read the book Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie. Do not allow your son to be abusive or disrespectful of you. Make strong boundaries around that kind of behavior. You do not deserve that. Limit the calls or block the texts or calls until he can behave appropriately towards you. We all have to learn a new way to deal with our troubled and often manipulative and angry and abusive adult kids. It is a new rule book. You will likely need a lot of support to learn how to cope and to learn new ways to respond. Hang in there. We're here if you need us. You're not alone. [/QUOTE]
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