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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 562896" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I have gone back and forth on this during the years and still go. First when difficult child was a baby and toddler, I wouldn't like to talk about topic, because I felt myself such a loser mom who couldn't even make her baby content for the smallest moments. Later easy child came along and I thought i found an answer and I was happy to tell it everyone. I even believed I would solve my difficult child's issues over time. difficult child proved me wrong and back to being a loser mom I went. Slowly I became sure that it was a difficult child who was a problem, not our parenting, after all easy child was doing amazingly with same set of parents. I started to believe that parenting didn't affect difficult child really, he was what he was. I started to take more part to those conversations. Slowly I also started to recognize more of our parenting mistakes and those I felt like talking to warn others. Now that difficult child is older, I have again changed my disposition. </p><p></p><p>Now I in fact think difficult child was more influenced by parenting than easy child. I do believe that easy child would had turned just fine with almost any parenting method, if you discount the gravest abuse and neglect. With difficult child every error we made left a mark. Then again, I have begun to see, that some of our good parenting choices left a mark too. As stubborn and unparentable he felt as a kid, I believe that in fact he was more sensitive for especially parenting errors. So I talk about parenting again. </p><p></p><p>I do however feel myself quite unable to give anything worthwhile to those people who come to me to look for support. This is mostly about gambling (okay, I can point them to some resources) or sport parents having trouble with their kids. I certainly still don't have the answers and still at times feel myself such a loser mom that I hate to be in certain situations. In fact I'm such a loser that I have very secretly (and only inside my mind) been feeling some relieve that difficult child struggling with sport may cost him his biggest goal of the season because if that would happen, I would be saved from one situation I fear already because I feel such a loser mom there.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if I can give any good advice to anyone, but I do believe I can warn people about my mistakes. And I probably should do that. And of course I know it is often important to others, that they don't feel like being only loser moms out there. And if it helps, that some can feel themselves better and superior because of me, I guess that is good thing too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 562896, member: 14557"] I have gone back and forth on this during the years and still go. First when difficult child was a baby and toddler, I wouldn't like to talk about topic, because I felt myself such a loser mom who couldn't even make her baby content for the smallest moments. Later easy child came along and I thought i found an answer and I was happy to tell it everyone. I even believed I would solve my difficult child's issues over time. difficult child proved me wrong and back to being a loser mom I went. Slowly I became sure that it was a difficult child who was a problem, not our parenting, after all easy child was doing amazingly with same set of parents. I started to believe that parenting didn't affect difficult child really, he was what he was. I started to take more part to those conversations. Slowly I also started to recognize more of our parenting mistakes and those I felt like talking to warn others. Now that difficult child is older, I have again changed my disposition. Now I in fact think difficult child was more influenced by parenting than easy child. I do believe that easy child would had turned just fine with almost any parenting method, if you discount the gravest abuse and neglect. With difficult child every error we made left a mark. Then again, I have begun to see, that some of our good parenting choices left a mark too. As stubborn and unparentable he felt as a kid, I believe that in fact he was more sensitive for especially parenting errors. So I talk about parenting again. I do however feel myself quite unable to give anything worthwhile to those people who come to me to look for support. This is mostly about gambling (okay, I can point them to some resources) or sport parents having trouble with their kids. I certainly still don't have the answers and still at times feel myself such a loser mom that I hate to be in certain situations. In fact I'm such a loser that I have very secretly (and only inside my mind) been feeling some relieve that difficult child struggling with sport may cost him his biggest goal of the season because if that would happen, I would be saved from one situation I fear already because I feel such a loser mom there. I don't know if I can give any good advice to anyone, but I do believe I can warn people about my mistakes. And I probably should do that. And of course I know it is often important to others, that they don't feel like being only loser moms out there. And if it helps, that some can feel themselves better and superior because of me, I guess that is good thing too. [/QUOTE]
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