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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 241647" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Klmno, has your difficult child ever spoken to you about the knife in your face? I mean, apologized or explained or anthing?</p><p>I've had some traumatic events like that, but I was lucky that my difficult child actually talked to me about them. You know how you can tell when your difficult child is B-S-ing and when he's serious? I had to wait several days until he was totally, totally calmed down, way past the flippant remarks, until he was in a place where he could really, honestly tell me what happened, and be mature enough for it not to happen again. That was a huge healing event for me, and for him.</p><p>I have only had one time recently when I didn't trust him, and that was last wk <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> and I slept in the guest rm with-the door locked. As it turned out, I just needed to let him cool off and stay away from him, and get my head in a better place. It's hard not to be paranoid after our kids pull some of these stunts.</p><p>I try not to think "What ifs" like my son's eyes when he's raging, or his crumpled face when he's crying. I just think about myself, about how to do what I am doing, and I pretend there is sort of a floating wall between us, a buffer. I don't know how to explain it. But it works.</p><p>It takes a lot of practice. </p><p>I don't know if that helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 241647, member: 3419"] Klmno, has your difficult child ever spoken to you about the knife in your face? I mean, apologized or explained or anthing? I've had some traumatic events like that, but I was lucky that my difficult child actually talked to me about them. You know how you can tell when your difficult child is B-S-ing and when he's serious? I had to wait several days until he was totally, totally calmed down, way past the flippant remarks, until he was in a place where he could really, honestly tell me what happened, and be mature enough for it not to happen again. That was a huge healing event for me, and for him. I have only had one time recently when I didn't trust him, and that was last wk :( and I slept in the guest rm with-the door locked. As it turned out, I just needed to let him cool off and stay away from him, and get my head in a better place. It's hard not to be paranoid after our kids pull some of these stunts. I try not to think "What ifs" like my son's eyes when he's raging, or his crumpled face when he's crying. I just think about myself, about how to do what I am doing, and I pretend there is sort of a floating wall between us, a buffer. I don't know how to explain it. But it works. It takes a lot of practice. I don't know if that helps. [/QUOTE]
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