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General Parenting
A Typical Weekend
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 124050" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>My difficult child 1 is very oppositional when off his medications, so it makes sense that if your difficult child is refusing or "forgetting" his he'd be even more of a handful. </p><p> </p><p>With respect to discipline measures, I think you have to ignore their chronological age for a minute and consider the behavior. Truthfully, most of these kids are a few years behind in their maturity anyway. My difficult child 1 lost his door for two weeks because of a slamming, object throwing incident. Today, he got racked up close to two hours in our "penalty box" for escalting behaviors -- and he ended up bolting for about a 1/2 hour because throughout all this his medications had not yet kicked in. When he finally came back, he was very remorseful and apologetic -- a complete 180 from the lip I was getting from him earlier, but that's because his medications were finally working.</p><p> </p><p>Something else that came to mind was the idea of using a carrot instead of a stick to try to influence difficult child behavior. I tend to gravitate toward the stick approach (punitive) with discipline, I admit. But I've seen that using rewards as incentives can often be more effective. Perhaps you could start with a reward for him taking his medications in your presence every day! With a bonus for making it X number of days in compliance. Just a thought. I know it seems a little ridiculous to have to go to such lengths with a 15 1/2yo, but if he's not acting his age, you might have to adjust your expectations.</p><p> </p><p>I understand the concern over his "conversations" with himself. Hopefully the folks observing him next week will get him headed in the right direction for support services.</p><p> </p><p>Your youngest has to be held accountable for the the types of behaviors you will and won't accept from him. It's unfortunate that your difficult child is influencing him, but I think you've got to draw some hard boundaries. </p><p> </p><p>You're not a loser! Parenting a difficult child is VERY hard. I love my kids dearly, but if I'd had a crystal ball 14 years ago, I might have thought twice about the life I have now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 124050, member: 3444"] My difficult child 1 is very oppositional when off his medications, so it makes sense that if your difficult child is refusing or "forgetting" his he'd be even more of a handful. With respect to discipline measures, I think you have to ignore their chronological age for a minute and consider the behavior. Truthfully, most of these kids are a few years behind in their maturity anyway. My difficult child 1 lost his door for two weeks because of a slamming, object throwing incident. Today, he got racked up close to two hours in our "penalty box" for escalting behaviors -- and he ended up bolting for about a 1/2 hour because throughout all this his medications had not yet kicked in. When he finally came back, he was very remorseful and apologetic -- a complete 180 from the lip I was getting from him earlier, but that's because his medications were finally working. Something else that came to mind was the idea of using a carrot instead of a stick to try to influence difficult child behavior. I tend to gravitate toward the stick approach (punitive) with discipline, I admit. But I've seen that using rewards as incentives can often be more effective. Perhaps you could start with a reward for him taking his medications in your presence every day! With a bonus for making it X number of days in compliance. Just a thought. I know it seems a little ridiculous to have to go to such lengths with a 15 1/2yo, but if he's not acting his age, you might have to adjust your expectations. I understand the concern over his "conversations" with himself. Hopefully the folks observing him next week will get him headed in the right direction for support services. Your youngest has to be held accountable for the the types of behaviors you will and won't accept from him. It's unfortunate that your difficult child is influencing him, but I think you've got to draw some hard boundaries. You're not a loser! Parenting a difficult child is VERY hard. I love my kids dearly, but if I'd had a crystal ball 14 years ago, I might have thought twice about the life I have now. [/QUOTE]
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