My daughter (sober for almost 2.5 years) is dating a man 6 months into recovery. I had doubts at first but have really grown to like him. He adores my daughter and is so good to her. He is turning 28 this week so we decided to have a cook-out and celebrate. My daughter also invited her closest friend that had been in sober living with her and has been sober a little longer than my daughter. In fact, this is the friend that presented my daughter's two-year "birthday" chip at the NA meeting I attended. The friend also brought her boyfriend who is also in recovery and has been sober for over two years. We had a wonderful time. As I sat there listening and laughing, I couldn't believe these four young people had been hard core addicts and alcoholics that are now sober and healthy. They all have full time jobs and are financially independent. They were so polite and wanted to help with getting lunch ready and cleaning up afterward. They were all brought up in the south and were incredibly well-mannered with "yes, ma'ams" and "yes, sirs" sprinkled in the conversation. My daughter later texted me thanking me for doing this for her boyfriend and said, "I love you so much, mom." This is the daughter that has called me every awful name in the book while in active addiction. I wanted to share this since I know that I once never believed that my daughter would be in long-term recovery. There is hope for all of our loved ones. ~Kathy ETA: I just reread my post and realized that I might have offended someone. I didn't mean that children brought up anywhere other than the south are not well-mannered or polite. I was raised in New York myself. It is just that southern children are taught from an early age to say "yes ma'am and no ma'am" to show respect for their elders and it becomes ingrained. So there were 30-somethings at my table saying yes ma'am and yes sir to my husband and myself. It took me a while to get used to when I first moved to the south thirty years ago but I really came to like it as a school teacher. Ironically, my own children don't always use it because I wasn't consistent with it when they were growing up. Different strokes for different folks.