A word from the ABSURD

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Feb 1, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Just thought I'd continue here, just to break things up a little. Thanks so much you guys, it is so validating and is probably making the difference between this time and the last time I had a huge fight (when he was 8) with a district.

    So, I left off telling you that the law advocate had called the superintendent and the Special Education. director. One thing I forgot to tell you was how I got a little more validation to how they are trying to skew things.

    One of the big issues they have naturally, and I have this too so to act like I dont care is insane but... anyway...

    One of the issues they had is that while in DAPE he has chosen to play floor hockey. I have mentioned before, he is 1:1 DAPE and his aide stays. He has had no problems with this teacher since the medication reaction so aide can probably go out side and wait. BUT they said during the meeting from hell that he was told he could hit the puck as hard as he wanted (he told me this and was so excited because it felt so fun and good).

    They said he then started shooting it at the aide. It has happened repeatedly and when the school counselor came in the room he did it to him too.

    So during the meeting I am thinking.... OK you tried it once, but when something happened that reflects his... impulse control, inability to judge how hard or soft he does things, his sense of slap stick humor, etc... you give him the puck again and again???

    And after the meeting I am talking with OUR psychiatric and law advocate and we are thinking why not a nerf ball or nerf puck??

    Who gives a kid who has a history of not being able to regulate things such a toy that can be called a weapon and a danger???

    SO the law advocate brings this up with the superintendent and the sp ed coordinator.

    Their response.. they ONLY have nerf pucks.


    They made it seem like he had been purposely attacking people to HURT them. Q KNOWS that nerf does not hurt. He plays nerf guns with kids in the neighborhood which while I dont like it, happened because they were all playing (even the preschoolers) and the big kids divided teams nicely including making sure they stuck with Q to help him.... the social lessons were too priceless.

    He does not own one though. I would be pinged all the time, LOL

    So, you think they could have been honest about this?? NOPE they made it seem like the staff was going to have to go to HR and claim that they were working in a dangerous environment because Q was using NERF toys that THEY gave him over and over.....

    I about wanted to scream!

    OK issue two...for those who did not see my post from yesterday, they are saying now that I can only have a one hour tour of the proposed school class.

    This class is a school within a school class for students with unique needs (sun program) and the school it is in is a large EBD (Emotional and Behavior Disorder) School. So the mentality there is EBD and you now the complaints and attitudes will be from that perspective. I allowed Q to be in a class like that when he was in first grade and it was a disaster. They said they ahd Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) training but they used NONE of it and he had just come from a full on private autism therapy program for two years so there were some amazing things he was doing.

    They told me there was really no reason to teach him to read because why teach kids to read if they are going to end up in jail anyway. He was 6! Medically involved, autistic etc... so my view of this program WILL be skewed. I have to be that way for his sake.

    I wrote to the Special Education coordinator and told her if that is all they have to offer then there is no way I will consider it and not to hold your breath for me to do so.

    I said that they could extend it in my case by saying I am doing a CEU observation which we can do...get CEU's for our licenses by spending half or whole days in programs. If they deny that then I will know they are hiding something.

    I am so beyond upset and at least I can type here without crying..... I still well up but am swinging toward the mad and almost laughing at some of the absurdity.

    Thank you all, I have read and re read all of your comments. I printed out the support page to help my soul. Thank you is not even enough. I love you.
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ugh. It sounds like they aren't using any of it, as you pointed out.

    we are thinking why not a nerf ball or nerf puck??
    Uh, yeaaaahh.

    Bad enough dealing with-a difficult child, but having to deal with-the "trained" staff and their ridiculous rules and lack of consistency is sooo frustrating. I don't blame you for crying, if you have to. I'd be in a puddle.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I hope the advocate let them have it when she found out they were making a big stink over being hit with a puck only to have it be a Nerf puck. The lies and half-truths and lying by omission will continue until hte principal gets his way. I am so sorry so I hope the advocate/lawyer have at 'em. As I said before, the principal & psycho need to be taught whose school it REALLY is!!!
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    I wish I had some good answers, and I'm with Terry - I'd be in a puddle, too. A HUGE one. It's like pulling teeth from a crocodile!!!
  5. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    I cant give any advice, because in our country we have non of that school things available!

    BUT....I am sending plenty of hugs and just pray for you to find some kind of support from some one who tries to understand!

    Hang in there....you are a blessing to your son!
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I read your whole post and I'm still stuck on the fact that they told you there was no point in teaching these kids how to read because they will most likely end up in jail. HUH?? Talk about not even giving these kids a chance!

    I would be a crying mess, too. Stay strong. Q is very lucky to have you as his mom and advocate.
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    First of all, are you SURE these people aren't the ones with brain damage? Who gives something to a kid that could hurt the giver when they KNOW the whole point is to hit the thing hard so it will go fast, tell them it is FINE to hit as hard as you want, and then gets upset? And then gives it BACK if it DID cause damage/hurt someone?

    I don't think Q is the one with the brain problem, sweetie. I think it is these people. Seriously.

    As for the "why bother to teach them to read" koi, I can't even type my comments. these people have an Idiot Quotient that is so dang sky high that I am surprised they don't get hurt getting IN to bed at night, much less getting OUT. What, do they think toilets are for hairwashing and shoes go on your ears? This is beyond stupidity to a level that, if it were not true, would be a Simpson's cartoon.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Simpson's cartoon. Ahhh, the next script ...
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I just had to look at your State of residency. Honestly I am surprised. Over the years I truly believed that your State was a leader in education and child advocacy. Years ago when I was a Guardian Ad Litem in Fl I worked via phone with either a GAL or a CASA representative who was a sharp cookie.

    I continue to be shocked and outraged as you reveal the details. I'm sure you are keeping complete records of the misrepresentations and interactions. I wouldn't be surprised that the Courts will become involved in the future. Hang in there knowing we all support you. Hugs. DDD
  10. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    DDD, overall as a state, we are a leading state for those things. The problem is there are a minute few who think they don't have to answer to anyone and in Buddy & my cases, the ones we fight with are ones that literally and out loud call the school THEIR school . Good thing they are a minority. We'd be scraping the bottom of the barrel of rankings if we had any more like these.
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    UG UG UG!!!! Hate when they do stuff like this that hurts our kids.
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I may have typed goofy..sorry....

    The school that said that about not teaching reading because of prison was the level 4 setting school that was an EBD school hiding under a name of "neurobiological" school. Five kids per class, ten kids in the school. Q was in the little kid class. When I asked about reading, writing, math etc...(which by the way he cooperated with at that time and he is reading at a fluency level about grade 6, comprehension about grade 4 so he can read a newspaper, LOL) that is what they said. I about died. So, that was the school where he was locked in a secluded room screaming in fear over tapping his foot under his desk. He was put in there several times over power struggles rather than risk of imminent harm...and it was not in his IEP.

    So, I have ptsd myself from that. When I found out I got an advocat revoked all permission to use any form of that kind of behavioral procedure and a state investigation was started and it resulted in district wide policy changes.

    I brought him to our home district where they started a new class that was true neurobiological and run using autism teaching methods, he had the best year ever... then someone had the bright idea to use the model of the program he had just left that had the state investigation done (it was a district they had contracted with so brought the ids home.... mixed Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and EBD kids... ) THAT is where Q learned over 50% of his swear words. THree out of 5 of us who were there the year before left. It was a nighmare. Q was bitten repeatedly. Then, when he finally fought back, all heck broke lose.

    So, I researched where to go and had met many sp ed coordinators and decided to move here. He really did well from his repeat of the wasted third grade in the other district through the middle of last year but then we got back on board with a new fba and then everything fell apart this year.

    He had taht medicine reaction, lost his blooming mind and people didn't believe me when I said at first, I think he is not doing well on this.... then of course the seizures started and they believed me. But by then the principal had seen him act like that and he just decided this kid as out of there.... I knew it from the start so that is why I got the advocate and sure enough it has moved closer and closer to that since. His behavior sheets that I have copies of look like they do nothing but record bad wrods complete with tallys (why??? to prove he swears alot?? we all knew that, but now you are doing it while he s swearing as he sees you and you dont think he is goingto do more and more of it??? That was never part of the behavior plan. For years people said just let it come out and it will end. So that is how it was treated..... now the principal doesn't want that in his school.

    I updated on the other thread.... I found out tonight that a parent at that school that I am to tour said she didn't ever see any program like that there, she woudl love to know becasue her son does not fit in with the ohter kids in that whole big EBD school.

    She doesn't believe it. SHE was told they are developing a program sometime next spring.

    She said the school is not big enough to really hide a program in a school and that the busses and kids do mix, no way around it.

    I am just sick of the lies. I hope they are prepared for my less than enthusiastic response to this. Law advocate said to make sure if they ask for a comittment, to say, I am only comitting to see the program as a courtesy to the team.

    by the way....yeah, the nerf hockey thing>>> HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THEM PLAY DODGE BALL??? How can they be upset about a nerf toy?
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I want to mail Jessie to you so she can play soccer with these whacko's. In about first or second grade Jess learned how to aim a ball really well. Guys soon learned not to push her too far. She has a long slow fuse, but when they kept it lit, well, she kicked the ball into their privates.

    I KNOW it isn't the best coping tool. It usually was NOT about her being picked on but about some younger or more vulnerable kid, or a group of kids picking on one kid. BUT she always tried a LOT of other things, including telling a teacher, and if those didn't work? Tough Noogies, she gave them a chance to do it right. Being a little cute blonde girl with the sweetest temperament most of the time, only 3 or 4 adults EVER figured it out. Most were so sure that such a cute sweet little thing couldn't kick the ball like that. LOL. One of the aides in Wiz' classroom (sp ed room that he loved) knew exactly what Jess was doing. Each time Jess did that this aide gave her candy. Made me laugh, esp because Jess was a little odd and didn't just start doing it for candy.

    Twenty mins playing soccer with Jess and they would sing a whole new tune about being hit with a nerf puck.