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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 567633" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>I'm sorry. I imagine sister in law never will understand because most people don't. They think if a kid can hold it together for them it must be the parents. She does need to be told that she doesn't have to understand or agree but if she wants to continue a relationship with difficult child she cannot allow difficult child to triangulate the adults. It is not giving her someone to confide in as she may think but is allowing difficult child way too much power to manipulate adults. Kids can only feel secure if adults are in synch and sister in law needs to absolutely refer all issues back to you and husband. No matter what she thinks. </p><p></p><p>I'd reconsider the trip but understand you may be stuck if husband and the other kids would miss out. Finding somewhere else for difficult child to go would be viewed as mean too. Not that you should care about others. Hopefully you can establish some ground rules and rewards for better behaviors just to get through.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 567633, member: 12886"] I'm sorry. I imagine sister in law never will understand because most people don't. They think if a kid can hold it together for them it must be the parents. She does need to be told that she doesn't have to understand or agree but if she wants to continue a relationship with difficult child she cannot allow difficult child to triangulate the adults. It is not giving her someone to confide in as she may think but is allowing difficult child way too much power to manipulate adults. Kids can only feel secure if adults are in synch and sister in law needs to absolutely refer all issues back to you and husband. No matter what she thinks. I'd reconsider the trip but understand you may be stuck if husband and the other kids would miss out. Finding somewhere else for difficult child to go would be viewed as mean too. Not that you should care about others. Hopefully you can establish some ground rules and rewards for better behaviors just to get through. [/QUOTE]
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