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Special Ed 101
? accomodations has a "perfect" BiPolar (BP), ADHD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ...
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<blockquote data-quote="Martie" data-source="post: 85063" data-attributes="member: 284"><p>Eventually in my opinion your child is going to fall apart at school...you should do whatever you can to make that sooner rather than later, because she is going to suffer more the longer this lasts.</p><p></p><p>I would not take a stable child off medications to "prove" anything to a school but she does not sound very stable to me. </p><p></p><p>I guess I would stop trying so hard...that is what I meant when I said I "resigned." I also resigned from fighting over homework because it was destroying whatever peace we had. This is not a big deal in KDG, but school refusal and lack of homework EVENTUALLY produce the required negative impact.</p><p></p><p>It is difficult for many people to understand exactly how problematic my ex-difficult child was, because he is my EX-difficult child, and by any reasonable standard successful now---but only because he is where he is; he would not be successful in a 4 year liberal arts college which would be high school all over again. Further, I still have the feeling that Mickey expressed: by saying that he is successful, I probably brought the evil eye....how long does it take for the mother of a difficult child to get over waiting for the other shoe to drop? I have no idea but I'll let you know if it ever happens.</p><p></p><p>I wish I had done less to try to shoehorn my son into school expectations for so long....if I had "let" him fail earlier, perhaps he would not have ended up out of our home for 14 months. Perhaps I am kidding myself, but this whole, "can't qualify because you are too bright" combined with kiddos who act out mostly at home for years is enough to drive a parent up the wall.</p><p></p><p>All I am saying is don't try so hard thinking you are saving your child----make reasonable efforts and be her mother. Let the school do their part---especially if they start having problems and want YOUR help...they aren't helping you at home, so if they want help from you, they need to qualify her. </p><p></p><p>It is a terrible feeling to want your child to have more problems sooner at school, but that is what it will take for them to see a negative educational impact. Going through that experience is damaging--no doubt about it. I know my son has feelings of rejection and self-doubt due to things that happened to him in public school. On another board I mentioned taking some Juilliard kids out for lunch....the conversation drifted to school prior to college---extremely negative even for non-difficult children. My son sat silent because his experience was SO MUCH WORSE, but it was interesting to me how uniformly schools all over the country do poorly with children who are different....almost all of them are bright but not academically motivated....marching to a different drummer. It made me think that no matter what I had done, I could not have "saved" my son, and I should have done less not more early on. I have no idea if this is at all helpful to you, but I do know what it is like to have a child whose major problems emanate from school but who enacts them at home. You are in a tough situation.</p><p></p><p>Martie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Martie, post: 85063, member: 284"] Eventually in my opinion your child is going to fall apart at school...you should do whatever you can to make that sooner rather than later, because she is going to suffer more the longer this lasts. I would not take a stable child off medications to "prove" anything to a school but she does not sound very stable to me. I guess I would stop trying so hard...that is what I meant when I said I "resigned." I also resigned from fighting over homework because it was destroying whatever peace we had. This is not a big deal in KDG, but school refusal and lack of homework EVENTUALLY produce the required negative impact. It is difficult for many people to understand exactly how problematic my ex-difficult child was, because he is my EX-difficult child, and by any reasonable standard successful now---but only because he is where he is; he would not be successful in a 4 year liberal arts college which would be high school all over again. Further, I still have the feeling that Mickey expressed: by saying that he is successful, I probably brought the evil eye....how long does it take for the mother of a difficult child to get over waiting for the other shoe to drop? I have no idea but I'll let you know if it ever happens. I wish I had done less to try to shoehorn my son into school expectations for so long....if I had "let" him fail earlier, perhaps he would not have ended up out of our home for 14 months. Perhaps I am kidding myself, but this whole, "can't qualify because you are too bright" combined with kiddos who act out mostly at home for years is enough to drive a parent up the wall. All I am saying is don't try so hard thinking you are saving your child----make reasonable efforts and be her mother. Let the school do their part---especially if they start having problems and want YOUR help...they aren't helping you at home, so if they want help from you, they need to qualify her. It is a terrible feeling to want your child to have more problems sooner at school, but that is what it will take for them to see a negative educational impact. Going through that experience is damaging--no doubt about it. I know my son has feelings of rejection and self-doubt due to things that happened to him in public school. On another board I mentioned taking some Juilliard kids out for lunch....the conversation drifted to school prior to college---extremely negative even for non-difficult children. My son sat silent because his experience was SO MUCH WORSE, but it was interesting to me how uniformly schools all over the country do poorly with children who are different....almost all of them are bright but not academically motivated....marching to a different drummer. It made me think that no matter what I had done, I could not have "saved" my son, and I should have done less not more early on. I have no idea if this is at all helpful to you, but I do know what it is like to have a child whose major problems emanate from school but who enacts them at home. You are in a tough situation. Martie [/QUOTE]
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