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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 492061" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Hi Nancy,</p><p></p><p>Here I am. I guess you could say that the holiday went without difficult child drama but I am feeling down anyway. I have realized that, sober or not, difficult child is still deeply troubled and has not changed in any meaningful way. She is still acts like an emotional teenager despite being 26-years-old. </p><p></p><p>She called me Christmas Eve afternoon and told me she had "things" to do before she could come over. She said she had just filed a police report because she had loaned her car to her roommate three days ago who in turn had lent it to a drug dealer friend and this friend had kept difficult child's car for two days. She had just gotten it back and went to report it to the poice,</p><p></p><p>I asked her what she thought the police would do since she had gotten it back and had lent it out in the first place. She said she was afraid that the drug dealer had made a key and she wanted the police to know in case he took it again. She claims that she is now getting threats (surprise) from the drug dealer to watch her back and she is scared to go back there or any other half-way house because everyone knows each other.</p><p></p><p>I told her that staying here was simply not an option and she started on the "but you said I just couldn't come home straight out of rehab. It's been three months." I think she has just been biding her time waiting until we gave in and let her come back. I told her that I had seen no changes to make me think that her living here would be any different now than it had been in the past.</p><p></p><p>I told her that the car issue was her problem and that I didn't want to hear anything about it when she was here. She agreed and has not mentioned it since she has been here. I'm afraid she will use it, though, when I tell her it is time to go back to the sober house.</p><p></p><p>Emotionally, I just don't see any growth. She said immature, inappropriate things at the dinner table which made the rest of us roll our eyes. She thinks she is being funny but it isn't funny at all . . . just sad.</p><p></p><p>When I suggested widening her job search to things like grocery stores, fast food restaurants, and hotel housekeeping, she said, "What do you think I am . . . a piece of dirt?" Would you say that there are still entitlement issues there? I told her all honest work is something to be proud of and that she needs something to help with the expenses. </p><p></p><p>So while there were no blow-ups, thefts, or substance abuse going on, it still left me with a feeling that there was no fundamental improvement. She is still here and I told her that we are going to work on getting a deferment on her student loans and she is going to call the hospital about her medical bills. She got a letter from the hospital saying that they would help her see if she might qualify for medicaid or medicare and I told her that it was worth a shot. At worst, at least the hospital will know that she is unemployed and that there is no way she can pay them back at this time.</p><p></p><p>So, how did your holiday go?</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 492061, member: 1967"] Hi Nancy, Here I am. I guess you could say that the holiday went without difficult child drama but I am feeling down anyway. I have realized that, sober or not, difficult child is still deeply troubled and has not changed in any meaningful way. She is still acts like an emotional teenager despite being 26-years-old. She called me Christmas Eve afternoon and told me she had "things" to do before she could come over. She said she had just filed a police report because she had loaned her car to her roommate three days ago who in turn had lent it to a drug dealer friend and this friend had kept difficult child's car for two days. She had just gotten it back and went to report it to the poice, I asked her what she thought the police would do since she had gotten it back and had lent it out in the first place. She said she was afraid that the drug dealer had made a key and she wanted the police to know in case he took it again. She claims that she is now getting threats (surprise) from the drug dealer to watch her back and she is scared to go back there or any other half-way house because everyone knows each other. I told her that staying here was simply not an option and she started on the "but you said I just couldn't come home straight out of rehab. It's been three months." I think she has just been biding her time waiting until we gave in and let her come back. I told her that I had seen no changes to make me think that her living here would be any different now than it had been in the past. I told her that the car issue was her problem and that I didn't want to hear anything about it when she was here. She agreed and has not mentioned it since she has been here. I'm afraid she will use it, though, when I tell her it is time to go back to the sober house. Emotionally, I just don't see any growth. She said immature, inappropriate things at the dinner table which made the rest of us roll our eyes. She thinks she is being funny but it isn't funny at all . . . just sad. When I suggested widening her job search to things like grocery stores, fast food restaurants, and hotel housekeeping, she said, "What do you think I am . . . a piece of dirt?" Would you say that there are still entitlement issues there? I told her all honest work is something to be proud of and that she needs something to help with the expenses. So while there were no blow-ups, thefts, or substance abuse going on, it still left me with a feeling that there was no fundamental improvement. She is still here and I told her that we are going to work on getting a deferment on her student loans and she is going to call the hospital about her medical bills. She got a letter from the hospital saying that they would help her see if she might qualify for medicaid or medicare and I told her that it was worth a shot. At worst, at least the hospital will know that she is unemployed and that there is no way she can pay them back at this time. So, how did your holiday go? ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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