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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 492089"><p>Hi all,</p><p></p><p>I am here a little later than planned because I took my easy child daughter and a friend after Xmas shopping... got a few things for myself also. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Kathy - I think the holidays make it hard when we all have such hard things we are dealing with.... so hugs to you and to everyone.</p><p></p><p>My holiday went suprisingly well.... which I think says more about me and where I have got to than anything else. We had some friends over for Christmas Eve dinner and we all had a really great time. My easy child daughter was there and one of her good friends and her parents were there plus a couple of other friends. So the girls were present and participated and it was really fun... so I had a fun night with no discussion of my difficult child and his problems. Yay.</p><p></p><p>I did get that letter from him on Xmas eve which made me sad for him and also glad that he misses us and misses spending the holidays with us.. I am however wondering if for him it is more about the gifts he is not getting than anything else. LOL.</p><p></p><p>Christmas day was very low key here but very pleasant. My easy child went to visit a friend for a while in the afternoon and husband and I drove around looking and enjoying Christmas light displays.</p><p></p><p>I texted difficult child Merry Christmas and he texted me back. Said he was in a meeting and wasn't doing much that day. It made me wonder if he was getting a Christmas meal... hey I am a mom and it is about the food!!! Later in the day we were calling other family members and I thought he is not going to call but we should at least call and try to connect. So we called him and left a message. I got a text back from him apologizing for not getting the call, he was in a meeting (another one?) and had a busy schedule until 10 or 11... I texted him back and said we would by home then. I was hoping he would call but he didn't. </p><p></p><p>So fine there might be good reasons why he didn't call....However he was missing us and being part of the fmaily so much he would have called. I think he has felt those things but I don't think they are overwhelming him or even his focus.. which might be a good thing actually. But it also means I don't have to sit here feeling sorry for him either.I am glad he was at meetings and was busy... that is a good thing.</p><p></p><p>So all in all I enjoyed the holiday but am also relieved it is over. The next big decision will be whether I should go and visit him in January. husband has a business trip near where difficult child is at. So his plan is to go see him. Our thought is it might make sense for me to fly to meet him and see difficult child as well. A bit part of me would like to do this, but it means leaving our easy child daughter home by herself (which she is fine with) but I am nervous about. We do have friends and neighbors who would fill in and keep an eye out for her. So I need to let my difficult child know this is an option but I am not going unless he really wants me to go... and if it "doesn't matter to him" then I am not going. I see no point in pushing myself on to him.... I also don't want him to tell me to come becuase he thinks that is what I want to hear... I really only want to go if he really wants me too.</p><p></p><p>So thats it from here...</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 492089"] Hi all, I am here a little later than planned because I took my easy child daughter and a friend after Xmas shopping... got a few things for myself also. :) Kathy - I think the holidays make it hard when we all have such hard things we are dealing with.... so hugs to you and to everyone. My holiday went suprisingly well.... which I think says more about me and where I have got to than anything else. We had some friends over for Christmas Eve dinner and we all had a really great time. My easy child daughter was there and one of her good friends and her parents were there plus a couple of other friends. So the girls were present and participated and it was really fun... so I had a fun night with no discussion of my difficult child and his problems. Yay. I did get that letter from him on Xmas eve which made me sad for him and also glad that he misses us and misses spending the holidays with us.. I am however wondering if for him it is more about the gifts he is not getting than anything else. LOL. Christmas day was very low key here but very pleasant. My easy child went to visit a friend for a while in the afternoon and husband and I drove around looking and enjoying Christmas light displays. I texted difficult child Merry Christmas and he texted me back. Said he was in a meeting and wasn't doing much that day. It made me wonder if he was getting a Christmas meal... hey I am a mom and it is about the food!!! Later in the day we were calling other family members and I thought he is not going to call but we should at least call and try to connect. So we called him and left a message. I got a text back from him apologizing for not getting the call, he was in a meeting (another one?) and had a busy schedule until 10 or 11... I texted him back and said we would by home then. I was hoping he would call but he didn't. So fine there might be good reasons why he didn't call....However he was missing us and being part of the fmaily so much he would have called. I think he has felt those things but I don't think they are overwhelming him or even his focus.. which might be a good thing actually. But it also means I don't have to sit here feeling sorry for him either.I am glad he was at meetings and was busy... that is a good thing. So all in all I enjoyed the holiday but am also relieved it is over. The next big decision will be whether I should go and visit him in January. husband has a business trip near where difficult child is at. So his plan is to go see him. Our thought is it might make sense for me to fly to meet him and see difficult child as well. A bit part of me would like to do this, but it means leaving our easy child daughter home by herself (which she is fine with) but I am nervous about. We do have friends and neighbors who would fill in and keep an eye out for her. So I need to let my difficult child know this is an option but I am not going unless he really wants me to go... and if it "doesn't matter to him" then I am not going. I see no point in pushing myself on to him.... I also don't want him to tell me to come becuase he thinks that is what I want to hear... I really only want to go if he really wants me too. So thats it from here... TL [/QUOTE]
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