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<blockquote data-quote="Elsieshaye" data-source="post: 492250" data-attributes="member: 12928"><p>This holiday was much harder than I expected it to be. I actually turned my phone off on Xmas day, because I was secretly worried that XSIL would give difficult child or his father my phone number in a misplaced fit of holiday family-feeling. She didn't, but she did call me, which went to voice mail and which I haven't returned yet. No contact from difficult child, which is mostly good but also a bit sad. I am noticing that when there are no actual crises or decisions to be made, the sadness shows up. I know that's normal, but it kind of sucks.</p><p></p><p>Part of the problem is that I isolated myself too much - didn't leave the house for 3 days, and turned down friends' offers to get together. (One in particular has a son who is a difficult child-in-training, and I am struggling too much with my anger at my own difficult child to be able to spend much time around her son. Particularly since she told me he spent the whole holiday telling her how inadequate her gifts and efforts on his behalf were, and constantly whining and bugging her when he wasn't putting her down. I didn't think I could be appropriately detached, since I was really struggling with my own thoughts and feelings about my own child.) I'm having a bit of trouble rejoining the human race today, and am really dreading next weekend. I feel a lot of pressure to come up with stuff to do over the holiday weekend to keep me from getting too isolated and depressed. boyfriend is lovely, but he's out of town next weekend and we've only been going together about 3 months, so I'm not comfortable talking to him about what I'm going through. I'm also not comfortable asking anyone to "rescue" me from my own feelings. I need to figure out how to take care of myself and meet my own needs. The way I handled this weekend is clearly not the way to do that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsieshaye, post: 492250, member: 12928"] This holiday was much harder than I expected it to be. I actually turned my phone off on Xmas day, because I was secretly worried that XSIL would give difficult child or his father my phone number in a misplaced fit of holiday family-feeling. She didn't, but she did call me, which went to voice mail and which I haven't returned yet. No contact from difficult child, which is mostly good but also a bit sad. I am noticing that when there are no actual crises or decisions to be made, the sadness shows up. I know that's normal, but it kind of sucks. Part of the problem is that I isolated myself too much - didn't leave the house for 3 days, and turned down friends' offers to get together. (One in particular has a son who is a difficult child-in-training, and I am struggling too much with my anger at my own difficult child to be able to spend much time around her son. Particularly since she told me he spent the whole holiday telling her how inadequate her gifts and efforts on his behalf were, and constantly whining and bugging her when he wasn't putting her down. I didn't think I could be appropriately detached, since I was really struggling with my own thoughts and feelings about my own child.) I'm having a bit of trouble rejoining the human race today, and am really dreading next weekend. I feel a lot of pressure to come up with stuff to do over the holiday weekend to keep me from getting too isolated and depressed. boyfriend is lovely, but he's out of town next weekend and we've only been going together about 3 months, so I'm not comfortable talking to him about what I'm going through. I'm also not comfortable asking anyone to "rescue" me from my own feelings. I need to figure out how to take care of myself and meet my own needs. The way I handled this weekend is clearly not the way to do that. [/QUOTE]
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